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Patriarchy will finish us.
- This woman teacher is a child predator, regardless of the intentionally vague norms calling a circumcised boy/adolescent a man.
- She used her power to catalyse this illegal AND wildly unethical engagement. She must be suspended and charged ASAP.
/1 https://twitter.com/_CambridgeRadio/status/1328330351048085510
- This woman teacher is a child predator, regardless of the intentionally vague norms calling a circumcised boy/adolescent a man.
- She used her power to catalyse this illegal AND wildly unethical engagement. She must be suspended and charged ASAP.
/1 https://twitter.com/_CambridgeRadio/status/1328330351048085510
This is how consent works legally: criminality lies with the adult, always and without exception. The issues begin when an adult tolerates and maintains a situation that can foment inpropriety, that can lead to sex with a minor, beyond the sex itself.
These laws are designed to protect the young, who are vulnerable because of youth, and because of the same porous and problematic cultural norms that make them sexually available to adults, while lacking the knowledge and agency to negotiate terms in sex for themselves.
Preparing minors for sexual relationships with adults has been called "grooming". The adult actively does the work to make the minor trust them and to cultivate any "willingness" of the minor to be romantically and sexually involved with them.
The minor is not making free choice
The minor is not making free choice
These = porous cultural norms.
If we are convinced a male teenager aged between 13 and 17 can be made sexually available in the ways an adult is, then he should enjoy legal benefits of adult life.
The expectations on his body by the state are equal, yet he has fewer protections.
If we are convinced a male teenager aged between 13 and 17 can be made sexually available in the ways an adult is, then he should enjoy legal benefits of adult life.
The expectations on his body by the state are equal, yet he has fewer protections.
Because of our patriarchal context, adolescent girls aged 15 to 24 are even more vulnerable.
HIV stats show this demo as an emerging key population: at v. high risk of contracting HIV because of continued unwillingness to give them sex ed/their inability to negotiate protection.
HIV stats show this demo as an emerging key population: at v. high risk of contracting HIV because of continued unwillingness to give them sex ed/their inability to negotiate protection.
To all adults of all sexual orientations and gender identities: even if a minor were to beg you to have sex, even if they said they want it, even if you desire them. Any universe of even ifs.
Should you have sex with them, you are a rapist and sex offender by law.
Refuse it all
Should you have sex with them, you are a rapist and sex offender by law.
Refuse it all
There's ongoing conversation about older adults who skew towards 'preferring' to date the extremely young, even if they may be legally of age.
This might have been seen as okay long ago. But societal norms have shifted. More people are rightfully asking harder questions now.
This might have been seen as okay long ago. But societal norms have shifted. More people are rightfully asking harder questions now.
The headline is also terrible because of toxic patriarchal norms.
This boy is given agency as the "impregnator" because he is male. Yet HE IS A MINOR and could not legally have given consent.
The woman is framed as passive, receptive. Yet she is a FELON.
This boy is given agency as the "impregnator" because he is male. Yet HE IS A MINOR and could not legally have given consent.
The woman is framed as passive, receptive. Yet she is a FELON.
Y'all, we're going to have to go down the rabbit hole of our very problematic social, cultural and legal norms. So much is hiding in the patriarchies and other constructs that we accept as normal.
So much.
So much.
/FIN
So much.
So much.
/FIN
PS I want to say a tough thing very gently.
Some of us have been in these situations when we were very young. With teachers, other older adults in positions of authority. They may have panned out differently. Maybe some of us married those adults and it went fine.
Some of us have been in these situations when we were very young. With teachers, other older adults in positions of authority. They may have panned out differently. Maybe some of us married those adults and it went fine.
Maybe some of us ended the relationships, which were perfectly normal relationships, and moved on in life. Maybe for some things were thicker.
That being said.
It is okay to see this convo now and look back and realise that it was not okay.
Even if we exited unharmed.
That being said.
It is okay to see this convo now and look back and realise that it was not okay.
Even if we exited unharmed.
These things may have happened to us and we feel we are okay and they didn't harm us.
We can still hold space for it to be better for others. For them to have more agency, knowledge, and freedom. That way their desires can be more ideal and they have better chances.
We can still hold space for it to be better for others. For them to have more agency, knowledge, and freedom. That way their desires can be more ideal and they have better chances.
We don't have to defend these improper relationships because similar things happened to us and "we were fine."
We can want better for the younguns coming up. We teach them better. They become better at humaning.
We can do this better.
So we should.
We can want better for the younguns coming up. We teach them better. They become better at humaning.
We can do this better.
So we should.
For those struggling to understand how this is a result of toxic patriarchy.
- this boy is a minor being treated like an adult because "men are strong"
- people are clapping for sexual conquest yet he was in an unequal, unethical engagement with an adult who had power over him
- this boy is a minor being treated like an adult because "men are strong"
- people are clapping for sexual conquest yet he was in an unequal, unethical engagement with an adult who had power over him
- the adult is being treated as a passive womb who happened to get pregnant when she actively maintained the unethical and illegal relational circumstances that facilitated rape of a minor
- it only became an issue when she got pregnant
- it only became an issue when she got pregnant
It was also quite irresponsible of Cambridge to just put this up with no link.
This story mirrors those details, hosted on a blog called Teacher's Arena which is a robust and widely networked news source for teachers in Kenya. https://arena.co.ke/villagers-in-shock-over-17-year-old-boy-who-impregnated-his-teacher/
This story mirrors those details, hosted on a blog called Teacher's Arena which is a robust and widely networked news source for teachers in Kenya. https://arena.co.ke/villagers-in-shock-over-17-year-old-boy-who-impregnated-his-teacher/
Here is the article archived online as today's source, lest Teacher's Arena take it down. https://web.archive.org/web/20201119110601/https://arena.co.ke/villagers-in-shock-over-17-year-old-boy-who-impregnated-his-teacher/
