Apparently a lot of people thought Invisible Man was unrealistic because people outside the abuse did not recognize it and/or try to stop it.

I haven't seen but it sounds like I need to. I like painfully realistic movies like that because trauma.

Anyway a thread:

To start, "Believe women" is not as popular as twitter might make it appear it is extremely difficult to find people who practice it in person. There are a lot of reasons for this.

Level of severity of abusive behavior compared to closeness to the abuser has a lot to do with it. Living with the fact your family member committed sexual assault is worse to a lot of people than believing the victim is a liar. https://psychcentral.com/lib/reasons-family-members-side-with-sexual-abusers/

Emotional abuse is largely invisible (hmmmm) and difficult to prove. When there is proof, many will hand wave this away as being "overprotective" or "too passionate."

This can again be in an effort to minimize. But is also very much caused by the way society champions this behavior from an early age. If he pulls your hair in grade school he does NOT have a crush on you.

This is also because of the way victims are forced to conduct themselves.

Don't smile. Don't laugh. People will think you aren't truly traumatized. But don't cry or scream either. Then you're hysterical and maybe blowing things out of proportion? It doesn't matter anyway. People will also think it's weird if you DIDN'T cry.

The victim's behavior during the relationship is a real catch-22 as well. If they ever seemed happy or in love it's seen as proof that the abuser MUST have some good qualities. They don't and the victim was not actually in love.

It's called trauma bonding and is literally a chemical dependency.

https://cptsdfoundation.org/2019/11/22/recognizing-and-breaking-a-trauma-bond/

If the victim fights back or acts cold or distant during the relationship people will use that as an explanation. "Well maybe he wouldn't get mad if you just"

Mutual toxicity is real. However many experts do NOT believe in mutual abuse because for there to be an abuser there needs to be an imbalance of power. https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/am-i-abusive-too-the-myth-of-mutual-abuse/

Narcissistic abuse is a whole other mess. These are people who care very very much about their appearance to the outside world. In most cases, their abuse is kept extremely private (remember the stuff about victim behavior) and outsiders see them as relationship goals

This leads to "flying monkeys" harassing the victim for them. Just talk to him he feels bad. You must have made mistakes too. Give him another chance.

Flying monkeys are often members of the victim's own family. https://medium.com/publishous/narcissists-use-flying-monkeys-to-torment-their-targets-but-we-can-neutralize-them-with-the-right-af5213a492f8

Leaving is not just about money or "finally having enough." The entire world might as well be stacked against you. Leaving is the most dangerous period of an abusive relationship AND the victim gets to deal with being blamed and not believed by the people closest to them.

So watch Invisible Man I guess. Is it good?