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Hi! I saw that #ADHD was trending and I wanted to share too. I was diagnosed by my psychiatrist with Combination Type ADHD when I was 16, after taking a test that felt.. WAY too long 
i fell asleep lolJokes aside, its been an ongoing journey for me ever since. (cont.)
My parents (Chinese immigrants) did not believe in or understand the concept of ADHD. They thought adhd=lazy. I struggled with missing hw and losing things and not being organized. they saw it as rebellion and laziness, and i felt ashamed bc i didnt live up to their expectations.
They didnât realize that missing deadlines and losing things was giving me intense anxiety. Not being able to be organized and function ânormallyâ was making me panic and self-hate. Its so painful to hear âyou havenât even triedâ when all youâve done is exhaust yourself trying.
My parents were ashamed of my ADHD, and I came to be ashamed too, deep down. They once told me not to participate in an ADHD panel at my school i wanted to do bc they didnât want anyone to know. Why? Iâm not sure. (I did it anyway.)
AsAm kids really struggle with discussions of mental health and neurodivergence with their parents and its from a deeply ingrained culture of taboo surrounding MH in Asia. My story wasnât unique but it was definitely painful. And its their story too of coming to acceptance.
There were nights I would lay in bed loathing myself bc I was just too tired or âheavyâ to shower or change clothes or finish that one assignment. I learned WAY later that this was a symptom of âexecutive dysfunctionâ... and I felt less alone putting a name to my symptoms.
Its a CRAZY feeling to lay there in bed and feel like you just cannot bring yourself to move. Like I know I should, but I canât. And i hate myself for it while laying there while hours pass like minutes. So iâm just berating myself for not moving but I still.. cannot move!
I developed a sk*n-picking disorder that came from both ADHD and OCD. I was living in constant anxiety from exhaustion just fighting myself. It was like a perfect storm that was destroying me but nobody understood. Trying to keep up w school was killing me. Teenhood was tough.
BUT, when I became an adult, i started connecting with the outside world much more and realized I was FAR from alone. People were dubbing their ADHD and neurodivergence their âsuperpowersâ.. something I couldve never imagined doing. It wasnt their weakness, but their boon.
I found that when I hyperfixated on something, I was able to go above and beyond and do things others couldnât. I began to get good at things I wanted to be good at, and stopped allowing others to tell me HOW I should be good at things. The world became more open to me.
I struggled for YEARS wondering if I was âstupidâ. i know it sounds silly, but I genuinely wondered if I was simply not smart bc my grades were not very good despite SO much effort. The issue wasnât w me, but with the edu systemâs lack of understanding towards neurodivergence.
Iâm 21 and am still discovering how my adhd manifests. I hyperfixated on hamster care and now taro lives his best life. I realized one of my ears picks up speaking when I donât want it to, so I wear headphones. I finally accepted I CANNOT watch things and work at the same time.
The more I broke away from the harmful stigma and worked on just trying to make things work for ME, I felt more moments of peace and control. I simply do my best, which is sometimes the bare minimum and forgive myself if I canât. I canât keep punishing myself for being who I am.
My parents eventually opened their minds and came to understand it was always a part of who I was. The label didnât change me. They started putting in the time to educate themselves on MH and put their daughter before their stigma/pride. It was a long journey but a valid one!
I know this is a long thread, but it felt cathartic to say it all. I hope this was relatable or uplifting for anyone else who struggles with ADHD and being polarized for it. This is your BOON. Your brain is remarkable and societal boundaries are wrong to make you feel otherwise
heres a great thread that helped me validate many of my experiences. Other peoples lack of understanding ADHD isnât your responsibility, so you do you!! https://twitter.com/dustychipura/status/1328451281162158085
