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This is embarrassing and frustrating to disclose but I'm going to speak out, because I'm just plain sick and tired of trans people making these absurd claims about intersex.
I hate talking about this, this is a topic that EMBARRASSES ME and I absolutely do not like speaking of.
I hate talking about this, this is a topic that EMBARRASSES ME and I absolutely do not like speaking of.
1991, I was born and my father was pressured into having a gonadectomy done on me. As a result the right gonad in my body was removed under mysterious reasoning, I was also planned to undergo a total male assignment surgery series due to my virilized clitoris and vagina agenesis.
Inititally my parents were told I had AIS and that this was the right course of action for me. My mother after having changed me and taken care of me convinced my father to go against the future surgeries and I was reassigned legally and through hospital paperwork to female.
Due to the gonadectomy and the fact medical treatment for my VSC was neglected my endocrine profile was completely suppressed, what does this mean exactly? For whatever reason my left gonad wasn't doing its job and it led to me basically developing extremely slow, to the point..
it felt like I was stuck in time as a child but it wasn't fun and games, I became very sickly and frail as a result even would find myself coughing up blood after a coughing fit. My condition made itself increasingly obvious, but treatment was consistently denied.
Then some years ago after my detransition I discovered I was intersex through the first and not to mention second karyotypes I had performed. With the first being 46 XY and the second being 46 XX. I'm not going into details on that. I've done that in enough other areas.
The bread and butter of this thread is what happened after. I began treatment for what was considered to be AIS at the time, while also dealing with the after effects of my detransition I began to feel off after several months. Like something was packed, trapped inside of me.
Reporting the oddities led to medication, questioning and physical examinations without scans. Never seemed off, other then well.. my virilized genitals which were always SO FUN to explain to doctors and nurses, believe me.
eventually a scan was done of my body due to symptoms not improving, it revealed I had an undeveloped female reproductive system which immediately threw my initial diagnosis of AIS into question, especially on reassessing that I took testosterone and had very potent effects.
Distress got worse and worse, likely made worse because of not understanding the treatment's effects on my undeveloped female reproductive organs. Between the awful pains that would cripple me and wondering why I was bleeding from all sorts of areas. While also being sick more.
It pressured me to find a surgeon who could work with me as intersex and tackle my genitalia. It was awkward and embarrassing to explain the situation but I did it. The surgeon consulted with me about how the procedures worked, namely focused on the clitoropexy and reconstruction
At the time my clitoris was probably my biggest factor of distress, with its absurd sensitivity and the fact it kept rubbing... sending me into sharp panic episodes. The fact my downstairs was in awful pain that made concentration impossible too.
Surgery was a gamble, the surgeon made sure to make me clear of this and the risks. We had no idea what could happen, whether I'd have to come back in at a later date or not. It was all a mystery. I was desperate for relief so I went forward with it, I wanted my life back.
After I properly healed from the surgery, the surgeon found certain oddities despite the complications she came across while operating on me. That was my healing rate and the bleeding. This led to the follow up which confirmed that, yes indeed.. I was menstruating.
Not only has this topic been insanely awkward for me to approach, but imagine only learning you can do this in your late 20s? Everyone else figures this out when they're not even a teenager. It's so embarrassing, not to mention isolating still.. despite what everyone tells me.
So really I guess the point of this was to shut down a certain rumor that I see trans people throw out a lot to shut down discussion.
If your body contains functional reproductive organs and you undergo treatment that would stimulate it, hormones or whatever else...
If your body contains functional reproductive organs and you undergo treatment that would stimulate it, hormones or whatever else...
You will notice oddities that cause you to take the initiative and seek out help. You will not just go forgotten and they will find that something is going on. The scenario this stuff goes undetected in this day until someone dies is completely unlikely in a first world country.
Anyways, that was embarrassing and I'm going to have to tell myself not to delete this despite how much I want to. I just had to get this out of my system, I see this excuse used so often and it ticks me off.
.. I hate the shame I feel about my body.
.. I hate the shame I feel about my body.
