Read on Twitter
Talking about how your sexuality is historically the right Christian one isn't something... anyone? needs to/should do?
Particularly if one is trying to brand oneself as the future of queer reconciliation within the church and also coincidentally publicize an impending book launch.
I want all the Christian gays—celibate, sex-having, married, figuring it out—to have a shared future, but that will not come through any touting of one's own holy sexual/nonsexual practices. Every party involved has tried that. Piety is better practiced in the prayer closet.
A shared future will be possible exactly to the extent that desires to be correct, to be the one with the answers, to make a name for oneself in that way, etc. are given up.
And that is not possible within the way popular Christian, particularly Evangelical, publishing culture encourages the perennial generation of gay Christian celebrities, some of whom actively want and seek that and some of whom truly don't.
It's not possible so long as every generation of gay Christians who come out feels the pressure of not only Figuring It Out and Getting It Right but also pressure to demonstrate to others that their own life story embodies the finding of the Right Way Forward.
This kind of publication necessitates the creation and performance of the Right Gay Self, which is a coherent and enviable, and therefore authoritative and marketable, self.
And if ever that marketable Right Gay Self is a gay celibate Christian self, *no matter how good the intention,* it WILL be used by anti-gay Christians/pastors/parents to say to the non-celibate gays in their life, "This is who you should be. Why can't you be like this?"
Perhaps that is true sometimes the other way around, but I uh bet that's rarer lol
I'm not saying *no* good can come of this pattern. These are the sources I sought out when I came out. Some helped a little; some hurt a LOT. ALL of them framed "figuring out" my sexuality and being a Right (ex)Gay Self as THE most important thing in my life.
It sells, but it's a lie. Being a WRONG gay self is the most important thing in my life hahahaha but I don't expect my path to be something that should be replicated!
I came out publicly at my Christian college, and I know that encouraged some queer students (+ maybe annoyed a few others? idk lol). But I could do that with success because I otherwise performed the right kind of Christian—the kind Christians love to celebrate.
I stopped blogging when I decided I was ok with gay sex and relationships, because I was terrified. And in retrospect, I'm glad I did, because I liked that moment of relative fame. I liked feeling like I had gotten it right. Or at least told myself rightly.
I both liked it and felt that being a gay Christian meant that I *had* to be a semi-public figure and paragon of virtue.
[I don't entirely know the right way forward. It certainly isn't Twitter threads like this, so pardon me, but I get so frustrated.]
If the goal is reconciliation between the Sides—good, beautiful, necessary—drop the Sides and drop your hermeneutical weapons. Drop the self-justification to any but God. Don't seek to acquire the same authority used by our oppressors.
Make friends with those who live differently than you, but not with those who hate you. Live gayly.
