Stop taking self love, health, and body image advice from people who only love their bodies if they’re in the gym 6 times per week.

People want you to feel about your body how they really feel about their own. That is to say, “fit” people who constantly find flaw in their own body image or obsess with “perfecting” it want you to obsess the same. It’s a particular misery and it loves company.

I have seasons in the gym. Because I haven’t yet mastered shutting out the noise of people who don’t deeply love themselves telling me what I should fix, I take breaks that vary in duration. When the motivation is not wellness, strength, etc...that’s my signal to chill.

There’s also the fact that many people, gay men / queer masc adjacent folks particularly, are hyper aware of the privilege that comes with being “fit.” And they’re desperate to gain or keep it. Desperate. They can’t advise you from a place of wellness or to wellness.