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Ok yall a bit of a mental health lesson since I'm seeing the word sociopath thrown around loosely. And some of you probably don't know that apart of my diagnosis years ago was that I have sociopathic tendencies. While a doctor straight up called me one.
Of course when I first heard it I was upset. The only frame of reference I had was it being used as an insult (it still is a lot). Or Hollywood's version of the killer with no emotion or remorse. Cold unfeeling, detached are things I know I can be to protect myself.
After years of life with a narcissist mother. Being sexually assaulted as a child, and few poor life choices... I know I have a built in off switch for my level of feeling things. As much as I try to use empathy there is a shut down point for me if I become overwhelmed.
Anyone who is truly friends of mine noted as much as they love talking to me they note they feel observed. And the few times that friendship went south I either scorched earth or went for points to hurt them enough to keep them far away from me.
Because you see sociopaths arent just ruthless killers with no remorse. We are often anti social people who force ourselves to exist in a society that makes no fucking sense at times. We try our hardest to deal with social norms that feel forced and aggravating.
And for the most part are successful until we are hurt. Even if the hurt is perceived the person doing it tends to get the full extent of our ability to destroy things and move on. I used to think being clinically diagnosed as a sociopath was the worse thing in the world.
But I know it's how I survive this ridiculous existence. I guess I just wanted to make some of you aware of the terms you use. And how some of you have no idea just who in your life is a true sociopath. Hope this doesnt unnerve ya.
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