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I decided to add my thoughts to the conversation on the CEEC ‘The Beautiful Story’ video. Not because I think that I have anything insightful to say, but because I have been reflecting on my response to it and felt that might be of interest to others.
Having seen all the reactions of disgust or horror on Twitter – mainly from liberal Christians but also from some conservative evangelicals – I watched it expecting to find these two reactions in myself, but I was surprised to find that I wasn’t as horrified as others seem to be.
This is not to downplay some of the dangerous or confusing language in the video, including the questionable portrayal of Muslims or illogical argument that sexual relationships are the way to life (I thought that was Christ?!)
As someone with roots in the evangelical/pentecostal wings of the church and studying at an evangelical college (but trying to figure out if I’m catholic enough to call myself Anglo-Catholic) the stories, views and arguments are very familiar to me.
They are the things that I wrestle with as I balance my faith and sexuality (sometimes the two feel like they're held together by the most delicate of threads). They are the rocks that slip under the sure footing I think I'm standing on as a bisexual Christian.
I could easily fall into the way of thinking that I see expressed in this video, allowing myself to say that "the Bible says X, therefore Y". It would be easy for me to concede defeat and say 'you're right, I can't argue my way out of that', which is why I don't engage in debate.
But before it even occurred to me that I might be anything other than heterosexual, I came to a place where I believed that God blesses same-sex relationships. This was contrary to the teaching of my church (at the time) and was a personal journey which I didn't know I was on.
Even though I held this view, I didn't share it and I still found gay people or people in same-sex relationships uncomfortable to be around. They were 'other' in my mind, and I didn't know how to deal with them.
At some point, God spoke to me and I became aware of my 'othering'. I realised that I was viewing other people and their lives as an abstract thing to be observed and commented on. I wasn't seeing them as a person who is real and good and loved. And I am too.
I realise today that the reason I can stand (albeit wobbly on those rocks is that I allow my reading of scripture to be shaped by the lives of other people: lives that are good, loved, blessed and holy. Lives that are full of biblical faith and Christ-like love.
I think this is why I can stand on those rocks, and why my evangelical siblings and I find it difficult to engage with one another. Scripture is fundamental to our lives as Christians, but for me, it is always in conversation with and informed by the truths I see elsewhere too.
Sexuality and scripture is an area I wrestle with and will continue to for a long time yet. I want to engage with LLF as openly as I can, but I know it's going to hurt.
But first, I have a civil partnership to form and celebrate.
But first, I have a civil partnership to form and celebrate.
