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Welp. I wasn't gonna say anything but now that she's blocked me, I can go on a rant about how extremely bad of a take "bimbo is a slur" is! Get ready folks!
First of all - her argument pretty much boils down to "This word and these concepts were used to abuse me and others like me, therefore nobody should use it consensually, or else they invalidate my abuse." Which.....is already a lot. But let's unpack it.
This is, very unfortunately, not the first or the fifth or even the tenth time I've seen someone have this reaction to different fetishes or aspects of BDSM. Because that's what this is about. Kink.
The whole....basic....idea of BDSM is playing with tools that were used for abuse. Chains, ropes, cuffs, whips, crops, paddles, wooden spoons, you name it. ALL OF THEM have been used for abuse. Not to mention the entire concept of power exchange.
Without getting too much into the history & psychology of BDSM and paraphilias, it comes down to: some people like to play with these tools, and others don't. And it can be VERY SHOCKING to someone who has been abused to find out that there are people who do it for fun.
I 100% believe OP about her abuse. I sympathize with her. Not pretending to know what she's been through, I don't. But I have seen survivors of abuse have that reaction to certain kinks before. A lot. And it's always uncomfortable.
You just cannot explain to someone having that reaction that no, it's fine, it's good, people enjoy it, it's consensual, between adults, everyone's having fun. There's no way.
But there are also people who have been abused... that find catharsis through exploring those traumas through consensual power exchange and play. I have seen that a lot also!
So.... I don't believe there is a solution to that. If you say "you can't understand because your judgment is clouded by trauma", because that's infantilizing, invalidating, and...just mean, honestly. Even if it might be true.
But you do not get to tell people that because of your abuse, they are not allowed to enjoy something - as long as that thing is between two (or more!) fully informed consenting adults. The world does not revolve around you.
It's the same argument that people make against sex workers - because of sex trafficking, abuse and marginalization, sex work should be illegal and everyone engaging in it must be abused or coerced somehow. Absolutely not!!!!!!!
As for "bimbo is a slur and you can't reclaim it"............
............no.
A "slur" is a very specific word used against marginalized people. Has it been used to insult women, hurt them, marginalize them? Sure, sometimes. But it is not a "slur".
............no.
A "slur" is a very specific word used against marginalized people. Has it been used to insult women, hurt them, marginalize them? Sure, sometimes. But it is not a "slur".
Slurs are words with extremely traumatic history for LARGE GROUPS of marginalized people - racist, transphobic, homophobic, or ableist words. Not....whatever "bimbo" is.
But that's another thing - they have been used for abuse also, and they can be reclaimed. Look at "queer" - there's a generation of kids growing up now who probably will only ever hear that as a positive word!
And like.... of all of the kinks and paraphilias to say are problematic and nobody is allowed to do....... bimbification? the one where you put on extra makeup and a tight outfit and pretend to be an airhead? that's just so bizarre to me. I get why she'd say that, but man.
That's it. This has been driving me crazy from yesterday and the more I thought about it the more mad I got so I wanted to say something.
Absolutely do not harass her, jesus christ, she has had enough of that.
Absolutely do not harass her, jesus christ, she has had enough of that.
