In 1990, a plane really did land whilst the pilot was hanging out of the window by his ankles.

(THREAD. For non sweary version and sources see here: https://bit.ly/36IK7X1 )

As the viral tweets explains, in 1990 most of a pilot got sucked out of the window, leaving just enough pilot inside the plane for others to hold onto (specifically the leg part).

Then, the other pilot was forced to attempt to land the plane while being quite distracted by all of the air and colleague being shot out of the window.

But is it true? Uh, yes. With one disappointing caveat, that I'll let you read at the end (should you so choose).

On 10 June 1990, British Airways Flight 5390 was due to depart from Birmingham Airport, England, for Málaga Airport in Spain.

The pilots followed normal procedures and were at about 17,300 feet when passengers heard a loud bang noise, which is way up there with "wonder what the fuck this button does" and "GODZILLA!" of sounds you don't want to hear coming from a cockpit.

Unbeknownst to the pilots, who had loosened their belts and shoulder harnesses, in prepping for the flight a few days earlier a maintenance manager had done a bit of work on the plane that would result in disaster.

The mechanic saw that on a list of maintenance jobs on the aircraft was that the cockpit windows needed replacing. Despite the fact that he hadn't changed a windscreen in about two years, he decided to do it himself.

He briefly glanced at the maintenance manual, wanting to "refresh his memory", according to the Air Accidents Investigations Branch official report into the incident.

Apparently tasks which are designed to make sure that hundreds of passengers don't die horribly are something you can do as a bit of a warm up exercise.

When selecting the bolts to replace the window, given he was rustier than the screws he took out, you might think that he'd be extra careful to select the correct ones. But that is the opinion of a poindexter, an absolute fucking nerd.

The mechanic (who is much cooler than you) found the correct bolts by comparing the old bolts to new bolts found in the screw drawers, like your dad would, probably muttering "fuck it, that'll do".

Unfortunately, there were only five of the correct screws, meaning he'd have to go to a different area to collect more.

This was 3am, so when he got to the carousel that contained the bolts, it was poorly lit, meaning he'd have to compare the bolts by sight in the dark rather than read the labels. (Yes that's right there were labels, you fucking poindexter, you absolute fucking Dwight).

The result was that many of the bolts he actually fitted to the plane were one size down from what they should have been, and not enough to hold the windscreen together at high altitude.

I guess this is why, famously, when you're performing repair on an aircraft you would usually use some sort of fucking torch.

Back in the cockpit a few days later, Captain Tim Lancaster was about to learn this lesson the hard way. The bang was the result of the left window panel flying away from the aircraft.

Lancaster, propelled by the sudden decompression, shot towards the window. Fortunately, his knees became stuck on the console.

Fortunately from a him not dying point of view, his knees became stuck on the console. Unfortunately from an everyone not dying perspective, his knees became stuck on the console.

The number 3 steward, who after this was hopefully promoted to number 1 steward, rushed in and grabbed him by the waist and held on tight. The other stewards kept their cool, secured all the other loose items and reassured the passengers while telling them to brace.

They somehow managed to reassure the passengers that everything was dandy whilst keeping a straight face.

Every got into brace positions, other than Lancaster who really should have been disciplined for choosing instead to adopt the position of a whacky inflatable arm flailing tube man on the outside of the aircraft, the maverick cunt.

The situation was even worse than he, a man hanging out of an aircraft, knew.

Inside the craft, the autopilot had disengaged, which meant they were now descending rapidly, and the flight deck door had been blown inwards onto the control panel, causing the craft to accelerate as it descended.

Don't want to get too technical on you, but in the aviation world accelerating at the ground is what's known as "bad".

The co-pilot regained control of the plane, while extra crew members entered the cockpit and attempted to pull Lancaster back in, unsuccessfully.

Worse, the steward holding the captain became tired and frostbitten, requiring an exchange with another crewmember (passing him like a deadly baton), and he slipped another 6-8 inches (15-20 centimeters) out of the window in the handover.

With no way to pull him in, the co-pilot was forced to land with his pilot hanging out of the window, being held onto by his ankles.

Which sounds a tad distracting if I'm honest, and the co-pilot demonstrated enormous restraint in not asking "would you mind cutting out this hanging out of the window shit, I'm trying to land a fucking boeing 747 here".

Astonishingly, the landing was successful, and no injuries were sustained to any passengers.

The only injuries sustained were to the steward who had mild bruising and frostbite, and the pilot who had bone fractures in his right arm and wrist, a broken left thumb, bruising, frostbite and, don't judge him or call him a fucking coward, shock.

Now for the disappointing bit. The amazing photos of the pilot hanging out of the window are from a re-enactment.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

But I imagine, were anybody callous enough to photograph the situation, they would have looked like they were shitting themselves just as much as the viral photos suggest, and probably with a few mysterious brown stains on the pilot's trousers. I hope that's of some consolation.

As always, if you like my threads telling dumb stories from history, you'll probably love one of my books telling dumb stories from history. https://www.amazon.co.uk/52-Times-Britain-was-Bellend/dp/0751578851/

Or just check out this crazy thread from the other day which brought me far too many followers who are only interested in Fish Fart Content https://twitter.com/JimMFelton/status/1327278706969243650