Read on Twitter
1/
1st day on a new service:
Me: "Hey there. . . Mr. Jones? I’m Dr. Manning. I’m the new senior doctor on your team."
Him: *arms folded in chair and staring at floor* "Mmm hmm."
Me: “Good to meet you.”
*silence*
I noticed his long, long legs extending across the linoleum.
1st day on a new service:
Me: "Hey there. . . Mr. Jones? I’m Dr. Manning. I’m the new senior doctor on your team."
Him: *arms folded in chair and staring at floor* "Mmm hmm."
Me: “Good to meet you.”
*silence*
I noticed his long, long legs extending across the linoleum.
2/
Me: “Hmm. Let me guess...are you... 6’4? 6’5?"
Him: *eyeroll*
*silence*
Him: "That's a dumb-ass question.”
Me: “My bad, sir. Guess I was just curious and thought I'd ask."
Him: "Go on and get curious 'bout these lungs, hear?"
Yikes.
Me: “Hmm. Let me guess...are you... 6’4? 6’5?"
Him: *eyeroll*
*silence*
Him: "That's a dumb-ass question.”
Me: “My bad, sir. Guess I was just curious and thought I'd ask."
Him: "Go on and get curious 'bout these lungs, hear?"
Yikes.
3/
Mr. Jones took exaggerated breaths as I auscultated his back. Lungs had good air exchange. He wasn't requiring oxygen. And, according to the respiratory therapist, he was tolerating less frequent breathing treatments.
This meant he'd be safe for discharge home.
Mr. Jones took exaggerated breaths as I auscultated his back. Lungs had good air exchange. He wasn't requiring oxygen. And, according to the respiratory therapist, he was tolerating less frequent breathing treatments.
This meant he'd be safe for discharge home.
4/
Me: "I think you sound good, sir. What do you think about going home today?"
Him: "That sound good. Can I go NOW?" *stands up*
Me: *staring up* "Um, as soon as we get your meds and paperwork together, okay?"
Him: *plops back down and rolls his eyes*
*silence*
Me: "I think you sound good, sir. What do you think about going home today?"
Him: "That sound good. Can I go NOW?" *stands up*
Me: *staring up* "Um, as soon as we get your meds and paperwork together, okay?"
Him: *plops back down and rolls his eyes*
*silence*
5/
Me: "Where do you live, Mr. Jones?"
Him: *huffs* "Damn! Where YOU live, lady?"
Me: *coughing* "Um, well I'm just asking so that I can make sure we have a safe discharge plan. And also to set up a ride for you."
Him: *rolling eyes and looking annoyed* "Jesus!"
*silence*
Me: "Where do you live, Mr. Jones?"
Him: *huffs* "Damn! Where YOU live, lady?"
Me: *coughing* "Um, well I'm just asking so that I can make sure we have a safe discharge plan. And also to set up a ride for you."
Him: *rolling eyes and looking annoyed* "Jesus!"
*silence*
6/
Me: "So. . . Mr. Jones, do you have someone who can come pick you up?"
Him: "I'm a nomad."
Me: *squinting eyes* "A . . .nomad?"
Him: "You heard me. A NOMAD. N-O-M-A-D."
*silence*
Me: "So. . . Mr. Jones, do you have someone who can come pick you up?"
Him: "I'm a nomad."
Me: *squinting eyes* "A . . .nomad?"
Him: "You heard me. A NOMAD. N-O-M-A-D."
*silence*
7/
Me: "So, just to be clear. . . does that mean you. . .DO or you DON'T have anyone that you can--"
Him: "DAMN! Are you SLOW? Do you even KNOW what a NOMAD is?” *groaning* “Jesus Christ, lady!"
Me: *knowing I shouldn't laugh but wanting to so bad*
Me: "So, just to be clear. . . does that mean you. . .DO or you DON'T have anyone that you can--"
Him: "DAMN! Are you SLOW? Do you even KNOW what a NOMAD is?” *groaning* “Jesus Christ, lady!"
Me: *knowing I shouldn't laugh but wanting to so bad*
8/
Me: "Um . .yes. Nomads are people who wander from place to place--"
Him: "From place to place BY THEY DAMN SELF."
Me: *in my head* "Um, technically nomads roll deep sometimes. . . "
Me: *out loud* "Okay, but you do have a plan for after you leave?"
Me: "Um . .yes. Nomads are people who wander from place to place--"
Him: "From place to place BY THEY DAMN SELF."
Me: *in my head* "Um, technically nomads roll deep sometimes. . . "
Me: *out loud* "Okay, but you do have a plan for after you leave?"
9/
Him: “Yesss! Yes! Damn. You making my damn head hurt."
*silence while watching him scowl*
Me: "Mr. Jones? You seem kind of aggravated. Is everything okay? Or is there anything I can do to help?"
Him: “Yesss! Yes! Damn. You making my damn head hurt."
*silence while watching him scowl*
Me: "Mr. Jones? You seem kind of aggravated. Is everything okay? Or is there anything I can do to help?"
10/
Him: *raising voice* "Know why I SEEM aggravated? 'Cause I AM aggravated. I told y’all soon as I got here that my bowels ain't moved in 5 DAYS and they swore up and down they was gon' give me something for it. Ain't nobody gave me NOTHING! NOTHING!"
Him: *raising voice* "Know why I SEEM aggravated? 'Cause I AM aggravated. I told y’all soon as I got here that my bowels ain't moved in 5 DAYS and they swore up and down they was gon' give me something for it. Ain't nobody gave me NOTHING! NOTHING!"
11/
Me: "Oh no! I'm so sorry about that, sir."
Him: "You FULL OF SHIT!"
Me: *eyes widening*
Him: *eyes widening back*
*silence*
Him: *eyes starting to twinkle with mischief and starting to smirk*
Me: *lip twitching, stifling laughter*
Him: "See. . .you got jokes."
*laughter*
Me: "Oh no! I'm so sorry about that, sir."
Him: "You FULL OF SHIT!"
Me: *eyes widening*
Him: *eyes widening back*
*silence*
Him: *eyes starting to twinkle with mischief and starting to smirk*
Me: *lip twitching, stifling laughter*
Him: "See. . .you got jokes."
*laughter*
12/
Me: "I mean. . . that is kind of funny seeing as TECHnically. . . ."
Him: *cackling* "You BET not say it!"
*collective laughter*
Me: “You started it, sir!”
Him: *still laughing* "Maaaane. Dr. Manning, if you don’t let me up out this hospital!"
He had the best smile.
Me: "I mean. . . that is kind of funny seeing as TECHnically. . . ."
Him: *cackling* "You BET not say it!"
*collective laughter*
Me: “You started it, sir!”
Him: *still laughing* "Maaaane. Dr. Manning, if you don’t let me up out this hospital!"
He had the best smile.
13/
Me: "I'm trying but you keep hazing me! Talking 'bout some: 'Mmmm hmmm. Get curious 'bout these lungs!'"
Him: "That's 'cause YOU was all over the place with them dumb-ass questions. Talking 'bout some 'I know you dying but how tall are you, sir?'”
*howling with laughter*
Me: "I'm trying but you keep hazing me! Talking 'bout some: 'Mmmm hmmm. Get curious 'bout these lungs!'"
Him: "That's 'cause YOU was all over the place with them dumb-ass questions. Talking 'bout some 'I know you dying but how tall are you, sir?'”
*howling with laughter*
14/
Me: *holding my side laughing* "For real though! I needed to know! Like what if maybe your poop has a longer way to travel since you're 6 foot. . . .oh yeah. You wouldn't tell me."
Him: *slapping his long leg* "I'm 6 foot NINE and that ain't no kinda true!"
*laughter*
Me: *holding my side laughing* "For real though! I needed to know! Like what if maybe your poop has a longer way to travel since you're 6 foot. . . .oh yeah. You wouldn't tell me."
Him: *slapping his long leg* "I'm 6 foot NINE and that ain't no kinda true!"
*laughter*
15/
We wrapped up the D/C plan—which included a bowel regimen. By the end, we were like old friends.
Me: "Alright then, Jones. You pretty cool for a 6 foot 9 nomad."
Him: "And you ain't quite as slow as I thought, Manning."
Me: *smiles*
Him: *smiles back*
Such a great smile.
We wrapped up the D/C plan—which included a bowel regimen. By the end, we were like old friends.
Me: "Alright then, Jones. You pretty cool for a 6 foot 9 nomad."
Him: "And you ain't quite as slow as I thought, Manning."
Me: *smiles*
Him: *smiles back*
Such a great smile.
16/
Here's what I know for sure:
1. Most ice melts if you stick around long enough for it to happen.
2. Oh, and nobody likes being constipated. Not even a N-O-M-A-D.
I love this job. So very much.
#HumanismAlways #AmazingGrady
Here's what I know for sure:
1. Most ice melts if you stick around long enough for it to happen.
2. Oh, and nobody likes being constipated. Not even a N-O-M-A-D.
I love this job. So very much.
#HumanismAlways #AmazingGrady
