1/ Nearly every media outlet has employed this narrative: we are going into our darkest winter yet with Coronavirus on the rise in the absence of a national strategy and vaccine pending. All facts.

2/ Individuals are being asked to weigh facts in the context of exhaustion (physical, psychological, spiritual) and persistent uncertainty. Conditions where compromises in judgment increase. This, too, is fact.

3/ Honoring perspectives.

4/ The critical question is how to communicate the sense of urgency around COVID effectively with those we love and care for, without judgment, in the face of dual realities?

5/ As a physician who is persistently subject to the suffering of others in a profound way, my sense of urgency around mitigating unnecessary suffering is sharp. I have learned to think in terms of deferral not denial.

6/ The way I communicate this to those I love goes something like this - I know we want to see one another, physically be together and everything feels so permanent right now. I acknowledge the desire, human need to feel connected.

7/ Then I communicate that my long, deep and wide love for them is greater than than my immediate desire to see them, I am willing to defer in the short term as a way of demonstrating my love (which feels like suffering). Strong use of “I” messages.

8/ Then I offer ways to feel and stay connected in the midst of uncertainty. For the holidays, I offered to cook and drop off food at the doorstep, to hand write cards and send via mail followed up with a phone call to read together once received.

9/ My point is that there is plenty of suffering. My goal is to reduce unnecessary, preventable suffering. COVID is real, it has stolen the lives of hundreds of thousands of Americans. Hand washing, physical distancing and masks are critical for our continued survival.

10/ We have lost enough. Let’s work to preserve meaningful relationships - we might start by considering our narrative. Consider being trauma-informed in our narrative - there are multiple truths and facts at play. There are ways to prioritize safety and relationships.

11/ Let’s add the required nuanced layers to the narratives (in the news cycles and with our loved ones). This will help save lives and important relationships too.

#TraumaInformedCommunication
#TraumaInformedHealer <END>