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I'm a big fan of and respect Danny a lot but his answer to the second letter here about the person upset that their fat partner keeps breaking their furniture and isn't apologetic really concerns me. https://slate.com/human-interest/2020/11/dear-prudence-son-never-acknowledges-surprise-gifts.html
It's worrisome that that this advice starts from a place of "no matter how fat this person is, this person is being rude" -- isn't it sus that the only thing this person is being rude about is pointing out that this world is an inaccessible, humiliating place for fat people?
Like, if they were generally a rude person who insulted people's things for being cheap, wouldn't they *also* be complaining about the cheapness of their dishes? or their art? their rugs? their clothes? their car? The fact that it's *just* furniture is big big alarm bells to me.
And it ignores the fact that, as with a lot of things, cheaper things that serve the body are more accessible to thinner people. The letter writer is taking their anger at a system that marginalizes fat people and targeting that anger at their fat partner and that sucks.
MY NIGHTMARE is breaking someone's furniture. I WISH that if I broke someone's chair I had the courage to say to that person "the reason why this happens is because we live in a world that isn't for me," like this person does. But I don't. And it IS because of advice like this.
Cheaper stuff just *isn't* as accessible to fat people. Cheaper stuff lets us down, embarrasses us, fails us. I get a thin person feeling frustrated because of the cost but calling the marginalized person rude is... not looking at the situation holistically
Also if you are a small fat or a mid fat (or a fat who has never worried about breaking a chair or whatever) I would realllllyyyyy slow your roll here before getting up in my shit and deciding the fat partner is being rude because I will get out the ban button.
