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Anger. Spite. Jealousy. Fear. Hatred.
Emotions you'll be usually suggested to stay away from, fight, and prevent developing.
But I attribute a good many achievements in my life and lot of success to these.
A small thread
Emotions you'll be usually suggested to stay away from, fight, and prevent developing.
But I attribute a good many achievements in my life and lot of success to these.
A small thread
Disclaimer: I am no psychiatrists, nor I wish to be a self proclaimed self help guru. I wouldn't want this to be taken as advice, but mostly just me sharing my experience.
So all my life I have always found being told to share, care, be happy, be nice, be brave, do good things.
So all my life I have always found being told to share, care, be happy, be nice, be brave, do good things.
And yet, as you must realise, if you ask yourself honestly, it isn't possible to really truly let go of 'negative' feelings and emotions.
(Side note: Negative and positive are just constructs. Why are some emotions negative? But yeah whole different topic,
so let's not)
(Side note: Negative and positive are just constructs. Why are some emotions negative? But yeah whole different topic,
so let's not)
Looking back at my life, many "achievements", in the conventional metrics of success of modern world, like good grades, making money, stable relationships - have often stemmed from some of these 'negative' motivations rather than positive ones.
Good grades for example. By the time I was in college, and found some true calling - things to do that really interested me, and my grades dropped, I realised back in school, getting straight A's, topping my class, all of that wasn't something I 'wanted'.
They just happened out of a 'fear'. A fear of not being successful. A fear that brown (or all Asian) parents drill deep into your subconscious minds with years of conditioning.
Getting less than 90% (or 9.5 GPA) was deep dark beyond the realm of acceptable outcomes.
Getting less than 90% (or 9.5 GPA) was deep dark beyond the realm of acceptable outcomes.
Similarly, while my one true love has been building apps (basically programming softwares), I have learnt editing photos, designing posters, editing audio and video, creating 3D models, painting, playing percussion instruments all out of some derived form of jealousy.
Most of these activities aren't something I "love" doing. If I am bored out of my wits, I wouldn't do them, to please my soul. And yet I picked them up, did them enough to be quite proficient in all of them, because I saw others doing them and couldn't stand not being able myself
I got into a relationship, twice, because of FOMO, (fear and jealousy combined you can say). And got out in FOMO too.
There has been long stretches of time where I have been very happy with my partner, and long stretches very happy all alone. Wouldn't deny that.
There has been long stretches of time where I have been very happy with my partner, and long stretches very happy all alone. Wouldn't deny that.
But the motivation to have someone in my life, and again to be alone, has often stemmed from seeing others being happy with someone or being happy alone
Missing out on having someone to cuddle with, and also missing out on having the freedom
Hard to even realise in the moment
Missing out on having someone to cuddle with, and also missing out on having the freedom
Hard to even realise in the moment
Spite, ofcourse, is another powerful motivator.
I have done a whole lot of things - which from outside would feel like inspired, dedicated, passionate overcoming of hurdles based on some goal in life - but in reality was just me proving some inconsequential point to someone.
I have done a whole lot of things - which from outside would feel like inspired, dedicated, passionate overcoming of hurdles based on some goal in life - but in reality was just me proving some inconsequential point to someone.
Sometimes, like getting a job, or getting selected for Indian Navy, was just proving a point to a non-existent "4 log" (4 people, a colloquial Hindi term to signify the immediate society), and to derive a silly mental peace out of it.
Some of these events in life have been very inconsequential to the journey in the bigger picture.
Some extremely pivotal, and crucial.
Yet, there's an undeniable fact. Most of these could not have been driven as much by a sense of love or courage or kindness as they were.
Some extremely pivotal, and crucial.
Yet, there's an undeniable fact. Most of these could not have been driven as much by a sense of love or courage or kindness as they were.
P.S. OFCOURSE, NOT MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN DRIVEN ONLY BY NEGATIVE EMOTIONS. (Few people felt that way and pinged me).
Huge parts of it are fully motivated by very positive emotions.
But the negative ones have shaped significant parts too, which is my point.
Huge parts of it are fully motivated by very positive emotions.
But the negative ones have shaped significant parts too, which is my point.
