I am a survivor of coercive control. I lost my house because my husband took control of our bank accounts and refused to pay the mortgage. He got his tech savvy brother to hack into my emails and stuff to track who I was talking to. He had multiple affairs and blamed me for not..

Putting out enough. He would sexually assault me almost nightly, this continued into our separation where he refused to move out of the family home. He threatened to kill himself on the regular. Spread rumours about me so I didn’t have anyone to confide in. He did all this..

And still, still, I don’t want this to be criminalised. The existing laws didn’t help me. The existing system cannot help me. The existing system can not change him. Please, please hear voices like mine. Overhaul the system then talk about addressing coercive control.

While police are still biased and racist and misogynistic, they make it unsafe for people like me to come to them. Police can’t stop a person exerting control over another, not by exerting control. We need to teach news ways of being. Address old ways of being. Protect kids from

The shame that comes with having a criminalised parent. So often we hear ‘protect the kids’ but neither way protects them from the shame of having an abusive and dangerous parent or having a parent incarcerated.

The system isn’t safe for offenders. Prison isn’t rehabilitative. Prison isn’t the environment tag nurtures change and personal growth and emotional maturity. Out of sight out of mind is the motto of the police and CJS.

‘Prison doesn’t disappear social problems, prison disappears human beings’ -Angela Y Davis

If coercive control patterns are accurate, my ex will kill his next partner. If we know this, why aren’t there any preemptive interventions happening to save this woman and her kids?

And the problem is that people still need live and to be traumatised by this shit for it to be criminalised. Damage is already fucken done. I don’t know about any of you but I’d rather address this before it’s caused harm.