It is 2020 in the timeline divergence where Tom Hoch won the 2017 Mpls mayoral election. The city is in ruins. Artists patrol Hennepin Ave while everything west of the Lake of the Isles/Bde Maka Ska/Lake Harriet DMZ has seceded to Edina.

Alongside a hand-picked cadre of artists, Hoch prepares a statement in which he will refuse to give up the title of mayor. The speech is titled "Minneapolis Doesn't Deserve Nice Things." Across Loring Park, Jacob Frey has summoned his elite guard, led by Chief Rondo.

Frey prepared his own speech- "Money Eats Progressivism for Breakfast." After taking the stage that hastily constructed outside the burned-out Askov Finlayson, Frey declares himself mayor of Minneapolis. CMs Cano, Palmisano, Jenkins, and Reich say the matter is at charter cmte.

Carol Becker attempts to follow Hoch's lead and declares the Longfellow neighborhood is seceding, and has banned non-vehicle transportation and mandates every business must have a drive through. These declarations are made via e-Democracy so only Capt. Jack Sparrow reads them.

Governor Walz, really not caring about the people who live in Minneapolis, stops taking calls from Hoch and Frey. He puts the National Guard on alert, preparing for a major offensive to retake the HQs of Target, Wells Fargo, and any other Fortune 500 company they can think of.

After being booed by Bender/Ellison loyalists at his speech, Jacob Frey retreats to his apartment. Suddenly, a combined taskforce of Hennepin Co Sheriff's deputies, Mpls Park Police, and Transit Police execute a no-knock warrant. Being white, and timid, Frey is taken alive.

Cano and Jenkins have betrayed Frey & sided with Vichy Mayor Hoch, regarding him as the white man who will use police without reservations. They secretly pass a bill to give Hoch supreme power over the city, which the charter committee deemed ok. Jana Metge praises their bravery.

Another faction, led by @WedgeLIVE and @mikemullen_, blog nonstop about all of it. Hoch demands that Twitter cut off their internet access, vowing to take matters into his own hands if they don't. Troops of mimes are dispatched to occupy the Wedge, but Mullen goes underground.

Hoch (wearing a $15k Blue Lives Matter mask) imprisons Frey in the green room at the Historic State Theatre. Joined by CMs Johnson, Reich, and Goodman, Cano and Jenkins give another $10m to MPD. Fighting escalates and on December 5th, Eric Dayton bombs the entirety of the skyway.

Rumors abound that Vichy Mayor Hoch is actually a puppet of Bob Kroll. In response, Hoch orders a parade celebrating the heroes of the MPD and what he names "the most progressive city government ever." Tales of terrible abuses in his papier mache sweatshops begin to circulate.

Kerri Miller uses her platform to insist that the people in the city must reach out to their overlords and build a bridge of understanding. @TheCurrent continues to refuse to hire anyone Black or brown for their host positions.

During the Hoch-lidazzle Parade, Mayor Hoch rides a giant float and encourages people to pelt his prisoner, Jacob Frey, with snowballs. "Spring eats snowballs for breakfast," Frey shouts. "To be clear, this is hurting my feelings."

Suddenly, a Hennepin Co Sheriff's vehicle breaks formation, and accelerates toward the mayoral float. It's being driven by @mikemullen_, who is wearing @BreeMinneapolis' uniform (and eating a giant sandwich). "Sic semper tyrannosaurus rex," Mullen shouts.

The float crumbles to pieces as Mullen drives through it, tossing a lighter at the very expensive, but highly flammable remains. As the wreckage is engulfed flames, people swear they hear Frey saying "fire eats crepe paper for breakfast."

Hoch's remains are never found, fueling speculation that he escaped and continues to wear his mask and prowl the galleries of the Orpheum. Police abandon the city completely, retreating to the suburbs, still being paid the benefits of the Jenkins/Cano/Goodman budget.

(Thank you for reading this prologue. Tomorrow we'll pick up the main story where a wandering mystic named @tony_the_scribe enters the city to help the citizens build something better.)

(before I pick up with today's installment, I want to thank @taylr and @asmaresists for the inspiration, @BreeMinneapolis and @mikemullen_ for their characters, and @WedgeLIVE and @tony_the_scribe for being good sports- they didn't ask to be included in my nonsense)

Nearly three months have passed since the deaths/disappearance of Jacob Frey and Tom Hoch in the Great Hoch-lidazzle Fire, as it's called by some (or @BallsMullen Day, as it's known by most). The city government remains in shambles. The city's finances have been decimated.

In addition to the unholy sums the Jenkins/Cano/Goodman Provisional Council authorized to the long-gone MPD, accountants discovered Vichy Mayor Hoch spent the rest of the city's treasury on fortifying his Lake of the Isles home, and some 500,000 counterfeit Mapplethorpes.

After the discovery of these expenditures, the Provisional Council announces Minneapolis will unincorporate and default on all loans and bonds through the year 2040, at which point it will re-incorporate under the name New Pig's Eye (known as the New 2040 Plan).

When protests break out along the Lyndale Ave corridor, the Provisional Council briefly reincorporates the city to grant additional funding to Chief Rondo and the MPD, then disbands again. The charter commission, now led by Jana Metge and the corpse of Barry Clegg, allows it.

When the Provisional Council disbands, @JonoCowgill declares the Park Board the last true government in the city, and takes the title of Lord Mayor and Park Board President for Life. He promptly cancels all scheduled Park Board meetings indefinitely.

Feeling pressure from wealthy white people who live near parks, Cowgill bans anyone who "makes a park neighbor feel uncomfortable" from using the park system. "It's still winter. This is for your own safety," he tells concerned renters as he bulldozes people from the sidewalks.

In local media, @WCCO gives @lizcollin her own primetime show in which she wears full MPD riot gear & does puff pieces on "law enforcement protecting white women." Despite the badge she wears clearly saying "Kroll," WCCO doesn't think her proximity to the police needs disclosure.

On the radio, @KerriMPR implores her listeners to apologize to any right-wing militia members they see for ever thinking of equal rights as important, as a gesture of "reaching out to the other side." @TheCurrent, citing a lack of white applicants, has gone off the air.

All hope seems lost until one misty March morning. A lone figure wearing a Bane jacket under a flowing Jedi cloak crosses the Plymouth Avenue bridge, hood & mask hiding his face. Those who see him enter the ruins of the North Loop swear he radiates an aura of mystical energy.

Rumors flood the city of this wanderer's powers. Miracles such as leveling the buildings owned by Julius de Roma with a toss of his head, and unionizing the Whole Foods with a gesture are ascribed to the solitary mystic. The city grows tense, waiting for the traveler to speak.

Jono Cowgill, along with Carol Becker and the remnants of the Provisional Council, ventures into the husk of downtown in his armored Bobcat to demand a meeting with the stranger. They find him meditating at the Prince memorial where @FirstAvenue once stood.

Impetuously, Carol demands that the hooded mystic sit down and have a beer with her. Only then does @tony_the_scribe throw back his hood, revealing his fiery visage to the terrified bureaucrats. "Silence, you brood of vipers," he shouts, voice booming like a thousand kick drums.

"For too long, you have claimed to represent the people of Minneapolis, while instead cowering behind closed doors and working to further enrich the wealthy and the carceral apparatus! You have brought dishonor to yourselves and to those who thought they could trust you!"

Lord Mayor Cowgill quails before Tony and falls to his knees. The Provisional Council flees. Carol Becker tries to copyright what Tony just said. The Hennepin Artist Patrol outside the nearby Pantages swear they hear ominous pipe organ music coming from inside the theatre.

Rising to his feet in the sacred memorial, @tony_the_scribe casts back his cloak (revealing that awesome Bane jacket), and draws a saber from its scabbard. The pointed steel touches the mayor's cheek, flicking aside a tear. For a moment, only Cowgill's sobs can be heard.

In the soft haze of the dawning of spring, the mystic leans close to the Lord Mayor, and speaks. "Fortunately for you, I have come to set things right."

(Thanks for reading! More tomorrow, hopefully!)