Dean has never seen anything good come out of romantic Love. His first experience was seeing his mother sitting quietly in the kitchen while his father was away, comforting his mother and telling him dad loves her. Their marriage wasn't perfect until it was already lost.
Dean, always on the road and isolated from people, craving the touch of someone and taking comfort from sex. He had to turn down a chance at normal life to protect his little brother from their father. His first love told him he was crazy when he opened up to her about his life.
The only love Dean's most familiar with has always been familiar. The love he has for his little brother. It's why Dean's dreamed of having a life with Lisa. Because she represents the loving family he's always wanted. He wasn't in love with her, but he loved her for how
Dedicated she was in raising Ben. Then comes Castiel. An angel who always saw the truth in Dean. But Dean saw how emotions broke Cas, has said it himself in 7.21. He's always thought Angels were just incapable of handling human emotions, and he never dared looking past that.
All Dean's always known with romantic love is that it leaves him, or death takes it away from him. He never referred to Cas more than a "brother" bc he's afraid to do so. Cas always leaves. Cas can't handle the emotions, and Dean can try to accept it the way it is.