New thread on why I believe "dysphoria" is overused and has lost its original meaning. That when most people use it, it's nothing more then an excuse or a way to escape actually describing the distress.

For some people this is not the case though, but it certainly is for most.

My stance has not changed on this, when a newly questioning or detrans person question comes to me for advice for dealing with their dysphoria, I tell them the best step to take is to stop using the word. Figure out what you were failing to describe and relied on that word for.

I find the word "dysphoria" to be a crutch, an excuse if you will. It gets used to describe any little or large discomfort that an individual wants to avoid navigating to, it can even become such an awful crutch that it worsens the impact of the original problem through obsession

Discomfort with how you're seen? Dysphoria
Tired of being the center of gossip, or ignored? Dysphoria
Hate that you're treated like an object? Dysphoria
Uncomfortable because of the differences between you and your peers? Dysphoria
Hate your period? Boobs? Penis? Dysphoria.

I recommend removing that word from your self-referential vocabulary if you really want to challenge yourself critically on this. Obviously you have to be open to this if you want to actually criticize your motives and it's taken me years to dismantle my own reasoning.

Describing your feelings, while thinking about how you can tackle them is the key point here. In the past I would use the word "dysphoria" for my own struggles and now even at my lows I refuse to utilize that word and stick to what the reality actually is in my case.

In the past I struggled with "dysphoria" because of an incident I grew up with that haunts me to this day. I grew up feeling isolated and different from my peers, I wished every day to just be "normal." I wanted to grow up, I wanted to be like other girls but at the same time...

I hated how girls were treated, I was constantly told I couldn't be a girl because I was so different or that I had to change myself. There were points I broke and actually tried to be something I'm not and I hated it, I mistook this for meaning "I should be a boy."

"Trauma."

1. Trauma's heavy itself, although it gives an idea

I felt like I couldn't be a girl because I was different, in terms of my expression and interests. I was convinced girls had to cater themselves to boys which I refused to do. I couldn't be a girl because I wasn't like a girl

2. My body had its own issues too, everything felt wrong and I questioned what was wrong with me. Never changing, stuck as a child and becoming sicker and frail. I never had a period growing up either.

My parents hid I was intersex from me, I grew up in a veil of mystery but

I knew something was wrong with me. I just couldn't put my finger on what and it led to me thinking my body was telling me something. That I wasn't developing like a girl because I wasn't "really a girl." I was an other and obviously I was more like boys right?

3. I ended up alone and without friends most my time as a kid. It was because I was sickly and child-like and it always ended up with being teased, and joked about. I was the laughingstock, the big funny joke. It was isolating and not to mention cruel.

I liked other girls, being gay was bad. Why was I a boyish girl who liked other girls? Was something wrong with me? Maybe I was really a boy? The thoughts continued to build up, eventually consuming me and controlling me. I was no longer in control or in a state to be rational.

4. I was abused physically and sexually. Taken advantage of for my weakness and frailty at that. It made me resent my body.

I didn't want to be that weak little girl, I didn't want to be treated like this. I never wanted to be weak again, I'd much rather be the one in control.

These feelings in combination guided my desire to transition. I started to dissociate and resent my own body, desiring a new body that fit what I thought I was or to "fix" the old one. I gained distress that made me want to change my sex, or "gender" and the more I fed into ...

these thoughts the worse it became. The more I hated my body and wanted to change it. The more my "dysphoria" worsened and became crippling. All sense of reason and rationality was gone and I wanted to just be comfortable in my own skin.

To break it all down, let's start with the first.

1. I was different and I -lacked confidence- in myself. My feeling as if I couldn't be a girl because of it was no surprise: -Internal Misogyny- This also ties into the very negative expectation and image I held other girls to

2. I wanted to grow up like my peers, I didn't understand what was wrong with my body. This ties into a dangerous conflation of -gender and intersex negligence.-

I didn't understand why my body was different, I just knew I -was- different and was constantly lied to.

3. My third reason was without a doubt related to being -intersex- which again ties into how dangerous conflating the two can be. It looks like a solution when it's playing with unstable chemicals is the better comparison. Intersex bodies are already heavily under-researched.

I can pin this on my parents not knowing what to do even if my mother did hunt for resources and was met with nothing. It was a lack of resources and information the very thing advocates are doing to stop now, be it: Accurate information to not alienate an intersex child.

4. -Internal Homophobia.- I hated being gay, I didn't understand why I liked girls and I forced myself to fake attraction to boys which brought its own problems, especially with my under-developed body. I made myself miserable and grew to resent this aspect and crave being normal

5. I didn't want to be weak, that little weak girl sickened me and the power my oppressor had over me was something I wanted for myself.. I never wanted to be weak AGAIN, to be treated and abused like that AGAIN! -- Misogyny --

I saw girls as weaker, I didn't want to be a girl.

So in my own examples you can see I now have words I can work with and stop using that word that is overused for aspects it has no relevance to.

Intersex Conflation, Lacking Confidence, Intersex Negligence, Internal Misogyny, Internal Homophobia, while wanting to be normal.

With me wanting to be normal and realizing I wasn't, I started to internalize I must actually be a boy and it led to dangerous tunnel-like thinking on resenting "girly" and "weak" aspects of my body. I didn't want to be female, anything female about me was "wrong." It hurt me.

After all this time and dismantling my own reasons, I no longer use that word. I still deal with bouts of hating my sexed body but it's more manageable now that I'm not relying on this unstoppable "monster" of a word.

It allows me to dismantle and critically assess things.

By discontinuing my use of the word dysphoria, it allowed me to isolate individual feelings and distress toward my body. This also stops me from spiraling the other way and allows me the ability to assess and seek out proper help and resources if I need it.

I mostly deal with regret now, but I definitely still deal with bouts of my desire to not be female.. Especially this frail, sickly form I am now. I can put words on that distress now, I can fight against these thoughts with facts and strategies to keep my inner demons at bay.

I wish I was never sold a lie when I was younger. I feel like I was manipulated and taken advantage of because of my unusual and awful circumstances. Sold a lie that I could change myself to be male, when I would always be female. Really though, what's more of a horrible matter..

Is the fact I was convinced how awful it was to be a woman, to the point I wanted to escape not just being a girl but a woman as well. I hated the idea of perceiving myself as female and at times? I still do, but now I know the reason for why and I try to speak against it.

I don't speak for all detransitioners but many of the women and men I've spoken with all want the same thing. We see ourselves in a lot of these stubborn kids getting wrapped up in all of this. We know how hard it can be to grow up and even feel like you need to absolutely change

There's a toxic mentality going on with LGBTQ that isn't just in the "I identify" crowd. The ones who claim you need to meet all these standards yet can't describe those feelings or how they're different are pressuring more young people to prove themselves to be "really trans."

What does "sex-based dysphoria" even mean? Recall what I said at the start of this thread. You can attach dysphoria to anything and it suddenly becomes this scary unbeatable monster who can control you, take you over and push you out of realms of safety and comfort.

I listed several reasons of my own, many of the very real feelings I experienced and still do because of my traumatizing childhood.

The more you use that term without tackling the problem, the more problem you give it. It's sadly very easy to give in, when you lose the ability

to describe your problem or you just never had it to begin with.

I do find this word to be a problem, especially since as more time passes.. between it and "euphoria" it feels like an excuse, a vague one at that.

That said, one thing is different from the last thread. I do acknowledge there are cases now where this word can be of beneficial use but I don't think it should default to "TRANSITION OR DIE" which is what it feels like. Minds also change, especially as you mature.

I could never compose myself like I can now even 5 years ago, I'd crumble under uncertainty and pressure and heck.. I thought I was "re-transitioning" five years ago because I believed I genuinely changed my sex enough.

It hurts to see kids make the same mistake you did.

I won't deny there may be cases where transition can be beneficial but just because a band-aid sticks doesn't mean it's the solution. Ideally we should seek out a better method for handling this distress, or isolate the very cause of desiring to change your sex on a bio level.