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I'm struck by how much of the gender discussion consists of teenagers wanting to differentiate themself from everyone else.
I get that. I think anyone who has been a teenager gets that. What I do not get is basing public policy on teenage angst.
Teens need us to be adults
I get that. I think anyone who has been a teenager gets that. What I do not get is basing public policy on teenage angst.
Teens need us to be adults
They're not. It is the nature of teenagers not to understand the long term consequences on their actions. Their brains are incapable of it. We know that. However, our brains can process long term consequences and we must. It is our responsibility to be the adults now.
It is easy to understand why girls want to run away from their bodies. It is impossible to explain to anyone who has never been a little girl how traumatizing it can be to grow up in a female body.
Grown men lust. Boys bully. Parents control & restrict. All b/c of that body.
Grown men lust. Boys bully. Parents control & restrict. All b/c of that body.
And there is nothing you can do about it. In fact, you are expected to take responsibility for the behavior of others with respect to your body. You must avoid the leering stares and wandering hands. You must never be dirty. Never be free. Never be anything but what is expected.
I understand wanting to cut away the things responsible for that pain. However, aren't we yet again making girls suffer for things beyond their control? Instead of creating a society safe for girls we allow them to undergo painful, permanent life changing surgeries?
It makes no sense. Shouldn't we instead create a world safe for boys and girls to be whatever it is they want to be? Can't we just drop gender roles?
I say these things because if I was a teen now, I'd be first in line to cut it all off and out. If someone told teenage me that I would never again be laughed at for having large breasts. If I could stop my mother from making snide comments about my fraulein hips.
If I could have eaten a meal without hearing that no man would ever want a fat disgusting woman. That I could stop the boys my age from making up diitties about my breasts. If there was a surgery that could have stopped the things that should have been stopped.
If someone offered me a way out, I would have taken it. I would have endured the pain because anything would have been better than hating every inch of my body every day. I would have cut it all away and I would have regretted it.
We must make a better world for girls. We must.
We must make a better world for girls. We must.
It is our duty.
And yes, I had tears in my eyes when I wrote that. I remember that lonely, unhappy girl. She wasn't fat. She wasn't ugly. She needed a type of love no one around was in the position to give. I wish I could go back in time and tell her it was going to be okay.
