@platonicharmon1 asked for my Dutch take and I'm gonna get really personal so.
trigger warning for manic depressive symptoms and discussions of psychosis and mental illness. It's also just rlly fucking long lmao like it's a fuckign essay I'm so sorry lmao 1/21

y'all know i see Dutch as having bipolar 1. And while I have personally never had a psychotic episode my first manic episode included some of the symptoms like paranoia abt being watched, thought projection, and feeling like I was receiving important messages 2/21

from the radio TV and billboard advertisements. It also included feelings of invincibility, increased productivity, and I've made jokes abt a lowkey god complex in the past. and like. that shit doesn't make any SENSE once you're clear eyed again but while you're in it 3/21

it makes perfect flawless sense and I feel like ur experiencing clarity u never have before. This is why ppl make poor decisions like choosing to stop their meds. I made crazy decisions, did new drugs in unsafe situations, etc. 4/21

And like. People can tell. My mom doesn't rlly believe in mental illness (we don't get on very well; she tells me to do yoga to cope w stress, it's a lark) and even she could tell something was off. I would talk like crazy. 5/21

When I came down off of it I was like holy shit yikes and met w my doctor. I still have not received a formal diagnosis of bipolar but I'm now on meds that are specifically for it and they've been working rlly well except for a few blips in August and now. 6/21

most likely I think I probably have bipolar 2 bc I more frequently have hypomania and depression than full blown mania. Have only had 2 manic eps. been on meds for almost a year and things are BETTER. will meet w my doctor over the winter to see abt upping these meds. 7/21

ANYWAYS sorry for oversharing but.......I think Dutch struggles w serious bouts of mania and depression his whole life, starting in his early 20s and there's no treatment for it. and I think that Hosea probably helps him thru it as best he can but there's only so much 8/21

he can do, ya know? And as the gang grows and as their infamy grows and as the law gets closer and closer the pressure starts to mount. I think his connection to reality slips hard during Blackwater, and stays tenuous at best after that. 9/21

And he's holding on so tight to his family and to his sanity and things are going ok but then he hits his head. U can CLEARLY see his rapid and sudden personality change in the alligator mission. He's aggressive, he's impulsive. Same with when he kills Bronte. 10/21

And Arthur and John are so shook by this so clearly it's something that's out of character for him!! They've known the man for years and they've never seen this side of him so I certainly think a traumatic brain injury adds on to the instability from his existing condition. 11/21

And then Hosea dies :) and that's the absolute breaking point. They land in guarma and he's already starting to go off the fucking rails. He's just lost the person who meant everything to him and he's in constant mortal danger being hunted on that island 12/21

But then they survive against all odds. Then they get back and the pinkertons try to gun them down again and he sees the man who murdered his husband. Like that's so much fucking trauma in the span of a few weeks. 13/21

So anyways. I think in chapter 6 he progresses to a full on break from reality. He behaves absurdly impulsively. He crashes the boat in the horses mission for no reason at all. He probably has delusions of grandeur, and the feeling of being persecuted isn't even a delusion! 14/21

Everything makes sense and he thinks he's doing right. Killing Cornwall is Right. Meanwhile, Micah is all up in his ear manipulating the living shit out of him. He already can't parse delusions from reality and Micah makes everything worse, convincing him that 15/21

John and Arthur are the rats. He becomes paranoid that his sons arent who he thought they were so he makes the decision to abandon them to protect himself. Convinces himself that they are what's preventing him from succeeding 16/21

I think he probably spends the rest of his life after 1899 in and out of psychosis. Certainly when we see him in 1907 he's wildly different from both 1899 Dutch and 1911 Dutch. He's thinking clearly enough to see Micah for what he is, but it doesn't last. 17/21

He comes out of the fog of it every now and then and falls into depression when he thinks abt what he's lost and how it's all his fault but then he swings up again and he almost wants it. It's better than the alternative, right? 18/21

So, do I think Dutch is a bad man? Not when he meets Hosea and Arthur. I think he's idealistic and unwell and he gets worse due to trauma and lack of treatment and understanding. I think he becomes a bad man, growing increasingly manipulative over the years. 19/21

The idealism fades as he sees the state and infrastructure progress and he sees that the life he wants to lead just isn't an option any more. I think his manipulative actions in ch6 stem from frantically trying to fix things and Win. I don't think he even considers the 20/21

Consequences of what he does to the Wapiti. They, and later John and Arthur become collateral damage and he doesn't realize what he's thrown away until he sees Arthur on the mountain the end. 21/21