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so chinese has this whole thing about nicknames, right? it doesn't show up in cql canon, it doesn't show up fic (or at least english-language fic), but modern chinese absolutely uses nicknames A LOT
like, if i ever heard my actual name at home, i knew i was in Big Big Trouble
like, if i ever heard my actual name at home, i knew i was in Big Big Trouble
it's sorta like how my non-Chinese friends knew they were in trouble if their mom yelled their full-barreled name, but just imagine the EVEN BIGGER change in tone if instead of going from "mike" to "michael andrew smith, get in here"
it was going from
"ah-[pet name after silly noise you made as a child and family myth cannot agree whether it was because you were gassy or liked to blow spitbubbles, and it gets used even though you're now 15]!"
to the equivalent of
CONTINUATION OF REFLECTION CHANG
"ah-[pet name after silly noise you made as a child and family myth cannot agree whether it was because you were gassy or liked to blow spitbubbles, and it gets used even though you're now 15]!"
to the equivalent of
CONTINUATION OF REFLECTION CHANG
and it's not just your kids, right? my dad's three closest friends from childhood, people he kept in contact with for decades after leaving hong kong despite the fact that it was MUCH HARDER TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THEM, and only one of them stayed in hong kong, and the one who
did stay willingly went to take care of my dad's father at the end when he went back to hong kong, even when my father REFUSED TO SPEAK TO HIS OWN FATHER -- like that's the level of closeness
my father's names for them were fatty, pigface, and meathead.
my father's names for them were fatty, pigface, and meathead.
and so when i grew up and they were on the phone or in the us for a visit, it would be 'hello, younger-uncle fatty" or "good morning, younger-uncle pigface" or "thank you for your gift*, younger-uncle meathead"
* in cantonese, a difference phrase is used for gifts & acts
* in cantonese, a difference phrase is used for gifts & acts
the insult functioned as a statement of closeness and love. because they're so ridiculously insulting, their use by my father expressed closeness, familiarity, brother and sibling-ness. so by having his kids combine the aunt/uncle marker without a family relation (indicating
respect) with a childhood insulting name (indicating closeness), you end up with something that gives you an index of closeness.
it's also a sign of how my dad was "senior" to them. my dad is.... a lot. i've mentioned before that he is a hardass confucian, although he is
it's also a sign of how my dad was "senior" to them. my dad is.... a lot. i've mentioned before that he is a hardass confucian, although he is
not the kind that wants a daughter-in-law to fetch him his shoes if he says he is leaving (real talk, something that happens, it's how my cousin d's girlfriend convinced his parents that she was okay), but more the kind that pulls his kids out of chinese school because they
are teaching kids to read chinese with primers about going to the grocery store or having chats about the weather, rather than the superior and preferable route of memorizing t'ang poetry (the equivalent of the milton and shakespeare) and 2500 year old essays.
which is to say: that when we addressed my father's beloved and revered older sister who is one of the few people to ever tell my dad to fuck off and not have him lose his shit at her
she wasn't just "elder-sister-of-my-father," nor was she the more formal
she wasn't just "elder-sister-of-my-father," nor was she the more formal