I used to think that being nice was boring and being mean was fascinating and funny, but in my senescence I’ve realized that being mean is its own special kind of boring. People respond with shock but that’s not the same thing as genuine amusement or appreciation.

(I say this more as a recovering mean person than as a criticism of anyone else, and I genuinely blush at some of the things I said that I thought were, idk, bon mots)

Or maybe what I’m trying to say is that meanness is just as boring as anything else. I don’t know. It’s something I (clearly) have to unpack. It definitely has to do with my growing unease over people being more excited to be unkind over cringe than they are over genuine evil