Red panicking about her future and ranting pls just ignore her she’s really uncollected rn

a thread;

Rn im panicking about everything help

My mom said i can “move out”/ just change a place to live for school after I graduate junior high

And like, junior high? I’m going to be only 15or16 when I’ll be living alone. That just makes me feel lonely already

Well I plan on going to Baguio for senior high school because my older cousin assures the senior high of my school rn didn’t taught him anything thats why he had a difficulty to adjust when he moved

So my mom decided that I should move as soon as possible which is after I graduate junior high so that she said i can be independent and get used to living alone

Well i do agree with her decision fully but the thought of being alone really just- aAAh iDK it’s not that i need someone to take care of me of course not its just i love the feeling of being with a family or someone

You know the feeling of waking up cooking and eating with your family chatting and such, aaaaah help the point is I need pEople

Well i have that one older cousin that already lives in Baguio by himself and his brother which is one year older than me plans on moving with him after senior high which will be next. year.

So that meatin 2022 I’ll be moving already

Haaaaaaaaa I also want to try to take the entrance exam to any school actually

But somehow I really wanna avoid manila

Manila is ok, I don’t have anything against people there its just too far? No actually hshahah im scared of what will happen if I live there, you know you can’t trust anyone these days

I also don’t know what course to take

I really am not good at anything other than being able to draw but I’m like 1/5 good soooo

I also really don’t want to take an arts course bc idunno I’m not really worried about what anyone thinks if i choose an art course but i feel like if im going to be forced to do art for school and stuff I’d get uninterested in it and not like art anymore

So art is thrown out of the window. Sure i do plan on doing some commissions on the future but just some that won’t be able to clash with my school stuff

I’m also interested in architecture but, like i have two people i know that I’m related to and they both are an architect now but they’re still jobless

My mom chatted me about this and she said she would love me to take avionics but she also said that her opinion doesn’t matter because its my life and she wants me to do what makes me happy

I mean, who doesn’t want their mom to be happy? So i am considering avionics rn...

Lastly, law. I have a friend that is sure she’s going to choose law which really awe me. She says it’ll be difficult since i think she has to take something for 2years in order to do what she wants or something.

I have an uncle which is a lawyer and he’s really stable rn, he has a job a really cool looking house and kinda wealthy. But I’m not sure that my mom and grandma will agree.

I’ll just pray that I’ll be stable 6 years from now

I wish i was just filthy rich or something so I won’t have to worry about financial stuff for the future

My mom said to me once that she just wished she won in a lottery or something so that I would stop overthinking everything bc she knows I’m nervous about all of it

Becauseee she told me that we study and graduate so we can have a stable job, we want a stable job so we don’t have to worry about money, hshahsha but she says that winning a lottery is just too easy so she’ll just work hard

Wait I’m rambling again

Hashhsha i think im done, idk i feel like a heavy feeling just lifted out of my chest even though no one’s reading this hshahsha