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something that i noticed from the trans kids around my age group is how we had to be more emotionally mature than our peers—often as mature or more so than adults—if we wanted to be taken seriously in our identities, *especially* when we were young teenagers
if we behaved like teenagers in front of cis people (of our own age and older), it was used as an excuse to not take us seriously, because we were just being dumb kids so how could we *possibly?* know about our own identities? (heavy /s)
i had to pretend (and still have to pretend im some circles) that i was okay with how my mother reacted to me coming out by crying about how she felt like id died. to emphasize with a position like that (that she felt like i was. fuckin. Dead.) takes emotional maturity that-
most people dont expect from (cis) adults, let alone a 15 year old. if i openly took the position that i couldnt emphasize with her at all, and that i wasnt going to forgive her for this—if i had expressed i was upset in any language less harsh than now—i would have been told-
that i was being unreasonable and that i was throwing a tantrum, that it was *so hard* for her, and *why couldnt i be the bigger person?*
(i know this, because i expressed that i was upset in not-flowery terms to a cis person i trusted, and they told me this)
(i know this, because i expressed that i was upset in not-flowery terms to a cis person i trusted, and they told me this)
more evidence of this can be seen in how (cis, usually) people react when a trans person expresses any kind of negative emotion in a way that isnt detached and clinical. oh, we're upset about being misgendered? clearly we're being special snowflakes and also a rude POS-
(nevermind that we never mentioned an external reaction in the first place! nevermind that we *actually politely corrected them*, or that we *didnt say anything at all*, because the moment we express an emotion we're being IRRATIONAL)
there's a pressure many trans people, including me, feel to be on our ""best behavior"". in a day, im going to meet dozens and sometimes hundreds of apparently cis people—thats dozens and hundreds of impressions and samples of a demographic to base my perception of cis people on
but for many cis people, im going to be the first out trans person or the first out nonbinary person that they meet, and i could be one of only a couple total they know. growing up in a conservative area, i *was* the First Trans for a bunch of my friends and peers.
a lot of non-knowledgable cis people have a preconceived notion of what trans people are like from (sighs.) internet culture. its never trans people being chill or calm that goes viral—its us in our worst moments, in "cringe compilations" and "TRIGGERED SJW DESTROYED" videos
so if we're anything *but* exceptionally polite, if we're not the nicest about correcting people on my pronouns for the fifth time or if we're not as gentle in saying "hey, actually, trans women *aren't men*," a non-knowledgable cis person will see it and think to themselves,
"hey, this trans person is JUST LIKE ALL OF THOSE VIRAL CLIPS!! all trans people are irrational and nutty and (etc. etc.)"
this is ABSOLUTELY NOT the fault of the trans people who get recorded and go viral. this is the fault of cis people who are looking to confirm—
this is ABSOLUTELY NOT the fault of the trans people who get recorded and go viral. this is the fault of cis people who are looking to confirm—
their bigoted notions of what trans people are ""like"".
