it’s time. worst (non-traumatic) date stories, let’s go

to join in:

- the guy who sent me a 10,000 word poem, 1800 word email, + 6 months of texts demanding a second date
- the racialist tech bro, on a comedown from “microdosing ritalin,” who said a “big red flag for him” was when girls had “an unreasonable number of food allergies”

some more on guy #1 here: during our first/last date he also

- asked me how much I earned
- asked me how many people I’d slept with
- told me his parents’ divorce meant that, alas, he had “the name and the money, but none of the connections,” asked if I could bear to forgive him

some time after I stopped texting, he told me he loved me

oh wait, ought to add my first date with a (wonderful) ex:

he’d decided on a picnic, last minute it started chucking it down. he said let’s go to the Tate

1 hr later

“where are you?”
“right by the entrance!”
“facing the river?
“yes!”

we were, of course, at different Tates

after 40 mins’ confusion and another hour or so’s walk in the rain, many times both wondering if we should just abandon hope, we met — soaked — at a bar, c. 9pm

drinks turned into dinner which turned into cocktails and jazz in his weird basement

still my favourite first date

thread observations so far:

- animals are NOT for first dates, and nor are relatives

- a troubling proportion of you regarding “stabbing” as “non-traumatic”