Read on Twitter
I need to talk about the way self-identified Nigerian feminists have used quote tweets and screenshots to create/sustain a campaign of blatant lies against me and other people asking for empathy, solidarity and systemic solutions to a problem that harms us all. https://twitter.com/OhTimehin/status/1327416461338566658
Many of you witnessed what happened when I tweeted about graduations in the US. 3 very visible AA women quoted that tweet by implying/saying I was ‘coming for’ and ‘dehumanising’ Black USians. I never even mentioned Black people. It didn’t matter. A diaspora war started.
I chalked that up to a misunderstanding. With this issue, it’s not a misunderstanding. It’s deliberate. From the first time I ever participated in this conversation, my point has always been that *marriage* as a tool of survival is the real culprit. https://twitter.com/OhTimehin/status/1227001479392829442
At no point have I EVER said women have to accept this situation, shut up about it, or settle for life-long pairings where there is no possibility of romantic connection. In fact I have *always* said the opposite. https://twitter.com/OhTimehin/status/1227031581010911232
I’m February, I spent hours going back & forth with mutuals like Uloma and ElegantSavant, reiterating these basic points:
- if marriage remains a tool of survival, anyone can use it to survive.
- the manifestation of queer men’s abuse in marriage is identical to straight men’s.
- if marriage remains a tool of survival, anyone can use it to survive.
- the manifestation of queer men’s abuse in marriage is identical to straight men’s.
- this survivalist ‘solution’ harms both queer men and women (of any orientation)
- the mainstream Nigerian feminist approach to this conversation is homophobic.
Both of them insisted on putting completely different words in my mouth. https://twitter.com/OhTimehin/status/1227560684243898368
- the mainstream Nigerian feminist approach to this conversation is homophobic.
Both of them insisted on putting completely different words in my mouth. https://twitter.com/OhTimehin/status/1227560684243898368
I don’t know if they continued to do this as directly and overtly as that first time because I’ve unfollowed them both, but what has happened in the months since is that self-identifies feminists like them have used Chinese whispers and out-of-context screenshots + quote tweets
to claim I said what I never said.
My stance has always been the same. When marriage is the best route to social acceptance and fuller humanity, people who are oppressed within patriarchy will use it. Discuss queer men’s participation in this system WITHOUT being homophobic.
My stance has always been the same. When marriage is the best route to social acceptance and fuller humanity, people who are oppressed within patriarchy will use it. Discuss queer men’s participation in this system WITHOUT being homophobic.
I don’t care if you agree with me or not. But for God’s sake, disagree with *what I actually said*. Quoting a single tweet in a thread, priming your (already queer-antagonistic) follower base to see it through the lens of “this is misogyny!”, then banding together on a platform
of shared victimisation by “those selfish queers” who want women to suffer? Strategic misinformation.
Doing this with screenshots is even worse, as there is neither the incentive nor even the possibility of the audience engaging contextually with what I have actually said.
Doing this with screenshots is even worse, as there is neither the incentive nor even the possibility of the audience engaging contextually with what I have actually said.
Again, all of this is deliberate. The vast majority of self-identified Nigerian feminists, just like the vast majority of Nigerians, are (benevolently) homophobic and virulently transphobic. The volume and remorselessness of queer antagonism on this app is evidence enough.
I mean, we were all here when that #EndSARS 
situation happened. You know the one I’m referring to.
situation happened. You know the one I’m referring to.
I am deeply tired of being lied against by people who use me and my ideas that they’re unable to grasp as a vehicle for their queer antagonism. I’m even more tired of the fact that the instigators of this heterosexist campaign are people I used to consider my community.
I said it in my apology to the people who I know felt emotionally/psychologically harmed by this cyclical debate that I realise Twitter isn’t the place for these conversations. I’m never participating ever again. But I won’t silently watch these people continue to lie against me.
Like I have repeatedly said, my stance had always been the same. Both/and. We can offer care, empathy and compassion to BOTH women of all orientations AND queer men in these conversations. https://twitter.com/OhTimehin/status/1327027060108390400
I wouldn’t make the same recommendations offline, to people experiencing this, that I make on twitter. I always take a *structural* approach to social justice. When a person is experiencing pain in real life, I prioritise the individual, as people who actually know me are aware.
If you’re genuinely interested in finding out what I actually advocate for instead of listening to self-identified feminists who won’t stop lying so they can air their homophobia, read my actual words. In context. Search my @ + keywords. I’ve had enough. https://twitter.com/OhTimehin/status/1327283680839159818
TL;DR: Very many self-identified Nigerian feminists are queerphobic liars. I will no longer silently allow them to scapegoat me or any of my ideas which they find too complex to grasp. If you want to know what I’m advocating for, read my actual words. In context.
Open for a surprise.
