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Kira’s thoughts, rants, and concerns on publishing: a thread
Pretty much all my life I believed that to be an author worth your salt, you had to get traditionally published. Self-published authors were people who hadn’t “made it” because their books or writing sucked, or they
Pretty much all my life I believed that to be an author worth your salt, you had to get traditionally published. Self-published authors were people who hadn’t “made it” because their books or writing sucked, or they
or they were writing in an oversaturated market, or they couldn’t be assed to go through the effort of finding an agent/publisher.
Also, before I rant on: I’ve read a lot of really shitty traditional published books, and a lot of really great self-published books.
Also, before I rant on: I’ve read a lot of really shitty traditional published books, and a lot of really great self-published books.
You don’t have to come in here to ‘correct’ me on that.
Also also, for the sake of this rant, ‘agents’ also include small/indie publishers. I’ve been looking into a lot of them, and they have all the same problems as agents.
Also also, for the sake of this rant, ‘agents’ also include small/indie publishers. I’ve been looking into a lot of them, and they have all the same problems as agents.
Now I may come off as arrogant as hell here, but I don’t think my books or writing suck. Hell, I think I’m pretty damn good considering my age, how long I’ve been writing, and the fact that I’m *not* published. I’m definitely NOT writing in an oversaturated market (I’ll get back
to this), but I AM starting to feel like I can’t be assed to find an agent/publisher. It takes times and energy to go through pages of people in the query trackers, and every time, it’s the same. Once I find someone interested in adult fantasy, their wishlist is always the same:
“I want badass women! I want LGBTQ+ characters! I want dark stories! I want epic stories!” But dig a little deeper, into the part where they tell you what they *don’t* want: “No stories where women are *too* badass. No stories with erotic content or rape. No stories longer than
120K words.” In other words, agents claim to want my story… but no, not really. They don’t want epic adult fantasy stories, they want YA-at-most prude-friendly books short enough that it won’t cost them too much to print. And *there’s* the issue: money.
I don’t give a damn about money. Okay, let me clarify. I give a little damn about money. When I publish my book, it’s not going to be free (partially because there’s a perception that a free book=bad, but also because I worked on this damn thing, I deserve to get paid for it.)
But I have a full time job which is incredibly fulfilling emotionally and pays me enough money to live comfortably. I don’t want to quit that. So I am not in a position where I *need* to make a ton of money off my books.
Furthermore, I feel like I’ve been disillusioned by how much money I’d get out of traditional publishing. As I understand it, if I self publish, I more or less keep all my money whereas if I trad publish, I get maybe 8%. Am I wrong? And before you say “well, the publishers/agents
help you with marketing…” do they? Because everything I’ve read recently suggests that it’s up to you to do your own damn marketing either way. Another thing: do I really *want* to market my books to a wide audience? Let’s be honest, my books have some hardcore triggering
content and erotic scenes. I wouldn’t want to advertise willy-nilly and get kids interested, or people who don’t want that kind of material in their books.
Which brings me to my next point: Yes, my books have triggering content (rape, mutilation, substance abuse, you name it)
Which brings me to my next point: Yes, my books have triggering content (rape, mutilation, substance abuse, you name it)
as well as erotic content/kink stuff like BDSM, which IS consensual when written to be that way. It goes against everything I believe in to tone my books down. I’m sorry, I’m not here to write happy stories where nothing bad ever happens or where characters never enjoy
consensual, mutually enjoyable sex. But there is *no* market for this, or at least not within fantasy. An agent looking for a book featuring rape is probably looking for an “own voice” book from a survivor in which the story is *about* that person (or a stand-in character’s)
trauma. My books don’t focus on it. It happens, and the trauma is dealt with appropriately, but it’s not what my books are *about*. Or if an agent is looking for a book with BDSM, they’re looking for an actual ‘erotica genre’ book, not something in which it happens in one or two
scenes out of 50 chapters. I will not compromise on this. I will not remove any of this from my book.
So the ‘oversaturated market’ thing? I’m not writing in an oversaturated market. Hell, I’m writing in a market that barely EXISTS. I realized I had this problem when I was
So the ‘oversaturated market’ thing? I’m not writing in an oversaturated market. Hell, I’m writing in a market that barely EXISTS. I realized I had this problem when I was
looking for comparison titles. There is *nothing* out there similar to my stories. No one comes close to the world building COMBINED with adult content that I provide. Agents want books similar to successful books. They don’t want my stuff which goes out of their comfort zone.
Another concern of mine: ALL my books take place in the same world. I’ve been crafting the Pentagonal Dominion since just before my 10th birthday. It’s my safe space, my mental and emotional home, my pride and joy. I’m not going to write many (if any) books in other settings.
Agents and publishers are only interested in standalone books right now, or at most a trilogy. None of my books follow that format. My books are simultaneously standalones, but also exist within the larger ‘series’ of The Pentagonal Dominion. You can read MoKaM and MoLaB without
ever touching MoDaH. You can read MoDaH without needing to read the first two first. They make references to each other, sure, but the plotlines aren’t related. But here’s the thing I’m not sure of: if I were to give my brand to an agent/publisher… do they own it? Would I be
legally allowed to write other books in the setting? If I have a falling out and want to leave my publisher, would I have to ‘buy’ back my world? Because FUCK that. I am the owner of my imagination, the creator of my world. I’m not giving it away to some money-grubbing asshat.
Now, I know I’ve made it sound like I really don’t want to work with an agent or publisher, but the truth is… I wouldn’t mind it. Like, if I found the PERFECT agent/publisher who was cool with everything I just said, I would love to work as a team with them. But let’s say this
happens in ten years from now, after I’ve self-published a few books… what will they want? I always see agents/publishers saying they aren’t interested in books that have “already been published”, so does that exclude JUST my self-pubbed works,
or EVERYTHING in the Pentagonal Dominion? Since that *is* my series, would self-publishing even one book prevent me from ever getting traditionally published? At this point, this isn’t really a deal breaker, just a random curiosity.
I’ll tell ya one thing, I butchered MoKaM to get it under 120 words, and I’m not happy with it. I cut out scenes that could have shown more character motivation. I cut out scenes which would have been AMAZING. I cut out a scene of characters just fucking because, well, it didn’t
serve the plot. Sorry, Arria and Williford, you get to fuck off-page. If I go with self-publishing, I am not going to limit my word count. Why should I? I’m going to make MoKaM the book it was meant to be,
with characters as deep and coherent as I’d initially written them to be. I’m gonna get Arria laid on-page like she deserves.
And MoLaB… holy shit, there’s no way I can keep this monster under 120K. I’ve barely scratched the surface of it, and I’m already over 10K. I anticipate
And MoLaB… holy shit, there’s no way I can keep this monster under 120K. I’ve barely scratched the surface of it, and I’m already over 10K. I anticipate
the final product will be around 160-180K. You know how they say ‘kill your darlings?’ This entire book is my darling, and I *do not* want it getting cut to satisfy the arbitrary limits of traditional publishing. This book deserves to shine, and fuck you if you think I’m going to
trim it down (I mean, I’ll do the usual editing of cutting out unnecessary words/redundant info, etc.)
So… where does that leave me? Should I even bother with agents? Is trying to get traditionally published worth my time and energy? Should I have taken a hint when Pitchwars
So… where does that leave me? Should I even bother with agents? Is trying to get traditionally published worth my time and energy? Should I have taken a hint when Pitchwars
went ableist as fuck regarding “if real publishing is hard, we’re gonna make it hard too”? Would getting an agent/publisher even benefit me? Am I just a crazy person who’s angry at the world because I’m writing for a niche audience? Someone, please, give me answers!
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