The little 4th grader I work with sounded down this morning, so I asked her what was going on. We talked about it, and she was tired because of a lack of sleep and sad for a very valid reason.
I sat there and listened to her and validated her feelings.
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I sat there and listened to her and validated her feelings.
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Toward the end of our session, she asked, "Ms. Williams, am I allowed to not be happy today? People always tell me to be happy, and I just don't feel like it today."
Please stop dismissing children's feelings and emotions. Let them FEEL.
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She was able to talk through and label her own emotions, and she's always told to not feel that way. Her sadness was not dangerous to herself or others, and she was having a rough day.
I could tell she was hesitant to talk to me about it because I may have brushed it off.
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I could tell she was hesitant to talk to me about it because I may have brushed it off.
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This is why I do the research that I do. It can take kids so long to figure out how to share their emotions because adults treat them like these little porcelain dolls that can't manage their own feelings.
Adults think we have to shield kids from their emotions, but
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Adults think we have to shield kids from their emotions, but
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if you don't let them feel, you're teaching them that certain emotions are not okay. They don't learn how to appropriately process those emotions and may experience more difficulties in the future.
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Anyway, just thought I'd share. Let children feel things. Let them be sad or angry without invalidating their feelings.
If you do that, they might also trust you and talk about any future difficulties they're having.
/endrant
If you do that, they might also trust you and talk about any future difficulties they're having.

/endrant