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๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ซ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐
Flirting is one of the most scary & difficult things a (young) man can doโฆ
Until he learns how to do it and it becomes one of the most fun things a man can do with his clothes on ;)
A thread:
Flirting is one of the most scary & difficult things a (young) man can doโฆ
Until he learns how to do it and it becomes one of the most fun things a man can do with his clothes on ;)
A thread:
๐๐จ๐ฐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ซ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ?
Flirting is a covert contract between two people
It is a parallel universe that only you two know about
An universe where only you two exist
A sexy secret
Flirting is a covert contract between two people
It is a parallel universe that only you two know about
An universe where only you two exist
A sexy secret
Naturally, when you flirt with someone, people will notice
Itโs extremely difficult to keep flirting a secret
Especially when in prolonged flirtations or when flirting in public
But the idea is to not broadcast flirting out to the world
Itโs extremely difficult to keep flirting a secret
Especially when in prolonged flirtations or when flirting in public
But the idea is to not broadcast flirting out to the world
Flirting, especially at the beginning stages, can be a very fragile process
You donโt want intruders to ruin the bubble
Friends getting jealous, competition trying to cock block
Or just eavesdroppers ruining the flirty vibe
You donโt want intruders to ruin the bubble
Friends getting jealous, competition trying to cock block
Or just eavesdroppers ruining the flirty vibe
Now I know that talking about flirting like itโs a covert contract sounds very nerdy
But thereโs an important reason to call it that way
Because without that covert contract, youโre not flirting
Youโre just creeping her out
But thereโs an important reason to call it that way
Because without that covert contract, youโre not flirting
Youโre just creeping her out
Many guys donโt understand this about flirting
They think flirting is saying certain words or doing certain things, but itโs not
That covert contract is the difference between everything could be flirting & nothing can ever be flirting
They think flirting is saying certain words or doing certain things, but itโs not
That covert contract is the difference between everything could be flirting & nothing can ever be flirting
Without the covert contract, nothing you say or do will register as flirting in her head
At best sheโll think youโre being silly, at worst sheโll consider it to be creepy harassment
The covert contract is absolutely crucial
At best sheโll think youโre being silly, at worst sheโll consider it to be creepy harassment
The covert contract is absolutely crucial
And note that it works both ways
Girls can also try to flirt with you
If you donโt notice her trying to flirt with you
Or if youโre not interested in her
Then there is no covert contract & thus there is no flirting going on
Flirting is a two man job
Girls can also try to flirt with you
If you donโt notice her trying to flirt with you
Or if youโre not interested in her
Then there is no covert contract & thus there is no flirting going on
Flirting is a two man job
This clip is a perfect example of a covert flirting contract
Go watch it before you continue reading
Scarlett Johansson has been giving Javier Bardem looks all evening
The other girl hasnโt
Go watch it before you continue reading
Scarlett Johansson has been giving Javier Bardem looks all evening
The other girl hasnโt
When Javier walks over to the 2 girls, his flirty words are received positively by Scarlett, who he has established a covert contract with
But heโs seen as a creepy sleazebag by the other girl, who he doesnโt have a covert contract with
Same words, opposite results
But heโs seen as a creepy sleazebag by the other girl, who he doesnโt have a covert contract with
Same words, opposite results
Without the contract, there can be no flirting
Now this doesnโt mean you canโt walk up to a girl if she hasnโt given you any clear invitational signals yet
Donโt use this as an excuse to avoid approaching a girl you like
Cold approaches can definitely work
Now this doesnโt mean you canโt walk up to a girl if she hasnโt given you any clear invitational signals yet
Donโt use this as an excuse to avoid approaching a girl you like
Cold approaches can definitely work
When you cold approach a girl, you should establish quickly if sheโs open to it
If you approach & attempt to flirt, but she doesnโt reciprocate, then stop it
Girls wonโt blame you for coming over to say hello, they will blame you for sticking around past your welcome
If you approach & attempt to flirt, but she doesnโt reciprocate, then stop it
Girls wonโt blame you for coming over to say hello, they will blame you for sticking around past your welcome
๐
๐ฅ๐ข๐ซ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ข๐ฅ๐๐ฎ๐ฉ
at the start of flirting, things are still unclear
You often arenโt sure yet if she actually likes you, she isnโt sure yet if you like her
This adds to the excitement, but this canโt last forever
at the start of flirting, things are still unclear
You often arenโt sure yet if she actually likes you, she isnโt sure yet if you like her
This adds to the excitement, but this canโt last forever
WIth flirting, you always have to keep moving things forward
When you first meet a girl, giving each other certain looks can already be fire
If after 3 months youโre still only giving each other looks, sheโll think youโre a coward & lose interest
When you first meet a girl, giving each other certain looks can already be fire
If after 3 months youโre still only giving each other looks, sheโll think youโre a coward & lose interest
Flirting is a tool, not a goal
When youโre flirting with a woman, you need to know where you want to take things
Are you flirting to get a date? Get a ONS? Get a first kiss? etc
If you have no goal, the flirting wonโt last long
When youโre flirting with a woman, you need to know where you want to take things
Are you flirting to get a date? Get a ONS? Get a first kiss? etc
If you have no goal, the flirting wonโt last long
Think of flirting as striking a match
Matches donโt burn long by themselves, but they can be the beginning of a great fire
Know what fire you want to lit when you are flirting
Matches donโt burn long by themselves, but they can be the beginning of a great fire
Know what fire you want to lit when you are flirting
๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ซ๐ญ
So what is the best way to flirt with a girl (assuming you got that covert contract going on)
Well... that depends completely on who you are and what your strengths are
Basically there are two opposite archetypes that can both work
So what is the best way to flirt with a girl (assuming you got that covert contract going on)
Well... that depends completely on who you are and what your strengths are
Basically there are two opposite archetypes that can both work
๐๐ก๐ ๐๐จ๐๐ค ๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐๐๐ก
The jock approach is a very clear style of flirting
Think back to the clip of Javier Bardem walking up to the 2 girls
It's immediately clear why he's there & what he wants
There is 0 ambiguity in his flirting. It's take it or leave it
The jock approach is a very clear style of flirting
Think back to the clip of Javier Bardem walking up to the 2 girls
It's immediately clear why he's there & what he wants
There is 0 ambiguity in his flirting. It's take it or leave it
The jock approach takes guts and will often get you a high rejection rate
But it is very effective. When a girl hooks, she hooks hard & it's immediately obvious what the both of you want
The jock approach works best if you're in good shape & have the cocky personality to match
But it is very effective. When a girl hooks, she hooks hard & it's immediately obvious what the both of you want
The jock approach works best if you're in good shape & have the cocky personality to match
The jock approach is extraverted and works best in environments like clubs where there isn't much time to get to know each other & flirting is expected to happen
But it can also work very well in other situations
Like directly asking the girl behind the counter for her number
But it can also work very well in other situations
Like directly asking the girl behind the counter for her number
Crucial with the jock approach is
- Confident demeanor
- Being to the point
- Giving it a wow factor (Ow wow he's the only guy in this club that dared to just walk up to me and tell me what he wants..)
- Looking good/standing out
- Having a sense of humor
- Confident demeanor
- Being to the point
- Giving it a wow factor (Ow wow he's the only guy in this club that dared to just walk up to me and tell me what he wants..)
- Looking good/standing out
- Having a sense of humor
๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐๐๐ก
This is the opposite of the jock approach
With the mysterious approach you keep things well
You want her to keep guessing whether you like her or not
If done well, she won't be able to stop thinking about you
This is the opposite of the jock approach
With the mysterious approach you keep things well
You want her to keep guessing whether you like her or not
If done well, she won't be able to stop thinking about you
Note that for the mysterious approach, the covert contract is twice as important
Ambiguously flirting with a girl that isn't interested in you or doesn't even realize you're trying to flirt with her, will get you absolutely nowhere
Ambiguously flirting with a girl that isn't interested in you or doesn't even realize you're trying to flirt with her, will get you absolutely nowhere
In fact I wouldn't advise inexperienced guys to not use this approach
It's simply too easy to make rookie mistakes
Thinking you're definitely flirting with girls when they think you're just weird
Girls are often too polite to tell you you're making a fool of yourself
It's simply too easy to make rookie mistakes
Thinking you're definitely flirting with girls when they think you're just weird
Girls are often too polite to tell you you're making a fool of yourself
But if done well, the mysterious approach can work great
Especially if you're a more reserved or artsy type of guy
The kind of guy that girls have trouble reading
It requires calmer environments & more time than the jock approach however
Especially if you're a more reserved or artsy type of guy
The kind of guy that girls have trouble reading
It requires calmer environments & more time than the jock approach however
The mysterious approach will rarely get you rejected (because if she doesn't hook, you can just pretend you never liked her anyhow & move on)
But it also costs much more time & effort than the jock approach
It's lower risk, lower reward than the Jock approach
But it also costs much more time & effort than the jock approach
It's lower risk, lower reward than the Jock approach
The mysterious approach works best with women that you see regularly
Women you have a flirty vibe with, but nothing too obvious
The mysterious approach is about finding the sweetspot of uncertainty
the spot where she's never sure if you're flirting with her or not
Women you have a flirty vibe with, but nothing too obvious
The mysterious approach is about finding the sweetspot of uncertainty
the spot where she's never sure if you're flirting with her or not
The mysterious approack is a push pull approach
Where you'll show her some extra attention and interest
Only to then treat her like you'd treat anyone else
Which forces her to keep guessing whether you like her or not
Which makes her more interested in you
Where you'll show her some extra attention and interest
Only to then treat her like you'd treat anyone else
Which forces her to keep guessing whether you like her or not
Which makes her more interested in you
The mysterious approach requires more build up (could take weeks depending on how often you see each other)
But it also requires the guts to strike when the iron is hot
Too many guys never dare to ask her out. They stay ambiguous forever until she loses interest
But it also requires the guts to strike when the iron is hot
Too many guys never dare to ask her out. They stay ambiguous forever until she loses interest
Again this approach isn't for beginners due to it's many options to chicken out or misinterpret things
to successfully pull off the mysterious approach, you need:
- Patience
- Good people reading skills
- Charm
- Playfulness
- The guts to ask her out when the moment's there
to successfully pull off the mysterious approach, you need:
- Patience
- Good people reading skills
- Charm
- Playfulness
- The guts to ask her out when the moment's there
๐๐จ๐ง๐๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง
The reason why I chose to expand on the Jock approach & the Mysterious approach, is to show you that there is no 1 right way of flirting
Many things can work depending on what your strengths are & what situation you're in
The reason why I chose to expand on the Jock approach & the Mysterious approach, is to show you that there is no 1 right way of flirting
Many things can work depending on what your strengths are & what situation you're in
Most importantly, keep it simple!
Especially as a beginner, don't overcomplicate things
Don't be too perfectionistic
She's just as nervous as you are, no need to be mr smooth perfect
Just be mr make a move & keep practicing your flirting until it's become a second nature
Especially as a beginner, don't overcomplicate things
Don't be too perfectionistic
She's just as nervous as you are, no need to be mr smooth perfect
Just be mr make a move & keep practicing your flirting until it's become a second nature
Feel free to ask me any questions if you have them
Feel free to retweet this thread if it was helpful to you
Finally I'd want to give a shout out to @bgzerotwoone & @jamiemcsloy for giving me the inspiration to write this thread after a very entertaining conversation
Feel free to retweet this thread if it was helpful to you
Finally I'd want to give a shout out to @bgzerotwoone & @jamiemcsloy for giving me the inspiration to write this thread after a very entertaining conversation
