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We went from seeing the necessity of facing our traumas and doing the work to heal from them (which includes not using a partner as a full-time therapist/an emotional punching bag) to now moving like we have to be fully healed (impossible) before we enter romantic r/ships. *sigh*
If you're really about healing, you know it's not linear. Thus, you're never fully "over" trauma. The limbic system prevents such a guarantee.
Often, we don't see some issues we have UNTIL someone else triggers us in some way.
This all means that healing is a lifelong journey.
Often, we don't see some issues we have UNTIL someone else triggers us in some way.
This all means that healing is a lifelong journey.
So if we're never done healing, unless you plan to never date, the message of waiting until you're done healing before dating is one that should be discarded.
The intention behind the message "heal before you date" doesn't come out properly in the delivery so it needs tweaking.
The intention behind the message "heal before you date" doesn't come out properly in the delivery so it needs tweaking.
The aim is for ppl to be honest with themselves and others (in all r/ship types), to hold themselves and others accountable and to take responsibility for their own emotional and mental wellbeing by doing the work needed to heal and act from a place of love and trust vs trauma.
Of course we don't want to continue perpetuating harm. But even with the best intentions and the most loving of hearts, we will hurt others and be hurt by others. It's a part of the human experience.
The key is learning how to process pain/hurt in functional, compassionate ways.
The key is learning how to process pain/hurt in functional, compassionate ways.
Sometimes staying single is necessary and evidence of doing the work to heal. And sometimes staying single is a trauma response that inadvertently prevents further healing work.
A question to help you distinguish: Is this choice coming from a place of love or a from a place fear?
A question to help you distinguish: Is this choice coming from a place of love or a from a place fear?
