I've not been able to shake off thinking about the Octavian allegations, and the video which appears to show his ex-girlfriend being abused.

And I think what's bothering me is that a lot of the response to it reveals just how limited the societal view of domestic violence is.

What I mean by limited is that everyone can agree that physical assault is wrong, but we're less able to see that within a context of escalating abusive behaviours - from control, volatility, intense verbal harassment, isolation, smashing things etc etc.

I don't think it's as simple as being immediately able to recognise abuse because violence has come out of nowhere.

There's all sorts of behaviours which, on their own, might be normal things that couples do. But taken all together, they add up to a pattern of coercion and fear.

And I think we have to have that conversation more, it's not one that we have enough, and it means that when domestic abuse pops up into the public eye too many people are sitting there thinking "that could never be me."