Read on Twitter
A lot of people are dunking on this tweet (for good reason) but it touches on something that our culture isn’t very good at dealing with honestly 1/ https://twitter.com/lethal_heroine/status/1326715575435988992
The reality is that there are always asymmetries in what people want out of sex, & there are almost always asymmetries in the emotional fallout after sex 2/
Women, on an emotional level, tend to invest more in a sexual partner (of course there are exceptions, don’t @ me) and this investment can lead to disappointment & heartache if not reciprocated 3/
Our culture used to protect women from this disappointment & heartache through the many paternalistic constraints put on female sexuality. We describe these constraints now as ‘patriarchy’ but they weren’t always for male benefit.
Now we have very few constraints and that’s a good thing, in my opinion. The problem is that we haven’t yet developed a vocabulary to deal with the disappointments, regrets, heartache, confusion & frustration that comes with sexual freedom
People—young women especially—are dealing with their grievances through politicised & often legalistic language, so bad experiences become “assault,” awkward flirting “harassment,” unconventional relationships “misogyny” and so on
The irony is that in focusing so much on “consent” we have forgotten about the emotional & moral valence of sex. So it’s not surprising that many young people have no vocabulary to deal with its many complexities other than a black & white legal concept. /End
