been seeing dunks on this all day, but honestly I see this tweet—and the response to it—as a great example about the limitations of (1) the consent framework when talking about healthy sex and relationships; (2) discussing hypothetical scenarios like this. https://twitter.com/lethal_heroine/status/1326715575435988992

if Jan wants to have sex with Bob, finds out he only has sex with gfs, intentionally pursues him anyway, tricks him into believing they’re in a new relationship and ghosts after having sex because that’s all she wanted...Jan did something really fucked up.

i wouldnt go the “is this rape?” angle—i’d say it’s a reflection of how society normalizes and encourage lies and manipulation in sexual and romantic relationships. What if we had social norms that encouraged honesty and transparency? How do we make a culture like that?

a big problem with spontaneous discussions about consent on a large public platform—not everyone agrees on what consent means and no one knew what definition the others were using! https://twitter.com/wagatwe/status/1301301448907522048