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Okay, funny story.
I was talking to my cousin (12) on the phone. You have to understand, his parents are always talking about how people need Jesus in their lives to be good, etc. And me? Well, I'm an atheist. I usually don't put it that way, because...
I was talking to my cousin (12) on the phone. You have to understand, his parents are always talking about how people need Jesus in their lives to be good, etc. And me? Well, I'm an atheist. I usually don't put it that way, because...
...people tend to mistrust and hate atheists. I was more in the closet for that reason than I ever was for being gay. Anyway, that isn't really important, but it makes the story funnier.
Keep in mind, I try not to debate/argue/etc. with people's kids. That isn't my place.
Keep in mind, I try not to debate/argue/etc. with people's kids. That isn't my place.
Here's the conversation as well as I can remember it.
Cuz: They're (his parents) at a meeting right now at that one Catholic church with the statue in front of it.
Me: You just described every Catholic church everywhere.
Cuz: You know, the lady with the blue robe.
Cuz: They're (his parents) at a meeting right now at that one Catholic church with the statue in front of it.
Me: You just described every Catholic church everywhere.
Cuz: You know, the lady with the blue robe.
Me: Yeah, the Virgin Mary.
Cuz: Virgin?
Me: ...yeah?
Cuz: I thought she was Jesus's mother.
Me: ...yeah?
Cuz: So why do they call her a virgin?
Me: Well, that's the story. You know, a miracle birth. God impregnated her.
Cuz: I thought Jesus *was* God.
Cuz: Virgin?
Me: ...yeah?
Cuz: I thought she was Jesus's mother.
Me: ...yeah?
Cuz: So why do they call her a virgin?
Me: Well, that's the story. You know, a miracle birth. God impregnated her.
Cuz: I thought Jesus *was* God.
Me: Right...that's what the Bible says.
Cuz: (starting to get suspicious) So how can he be his own dad?
Me: Yeah, so, you really never learned this? Didn't you go to Sunday School and stuff?
Cuz: Yeah.
Me: Oh, well, um...so God and Jesus are supposed to be the same-
Cuz: (starting to get suspicious) So how can he be his own dad?
Me: Yeah, so, you really never learned this? Didn't you go to Sunday School and stuff?
Cuz: Yeah.
Me: Oh, well, um...so God and Jesus are supposed to be the same-
Cuz: You're making this up, aren't you? Like when you told me a dragon lived near the creek?
Me: No! That's what they teach in church!
Cuz: Why did he want to be "born" anyway?
Me: So he could be put to death-
Cuz: Come on!
Me: I'm being serious!
Me: No! That's what they teach in church!
Cuz: Why did he want to be "born" anyway?
Me: So he could be put to death-
Cuz: Come on!
Me: I'm being serious!
Cuz: Why?
Me: Well, supposedly so they could stop sacrificing cows and goats and stuff to be forgiven of sins and make God happy. Jesus would be one giant sacrifice to end all sacrifices.
Cuz: Who said they had to sacrifice stuff to be forgiven?
Me: Well...God.
Me: Well, supposedly so they could stop sacrificing cows and goats and stuff to be forgiven of sins and make God happy. Jesus would be one giant sacrifice to end all sacrifices.
Cuz: Who said they had to sacrifice stuff to be forgiven?
Me: Well...God.
Cuz: (with attitude) Let me get this straight. God said people had to kill stuff to be forgiven of sins, then stuffed himself inside a married virgin's uterus so he could be born & have himself killed so people could stop doing what he told them they should do in the first place?
Me: Seriously! How have you never heard this!? Maybe you should ask your parents to explain it better.
Cuz: (with confidence, completely convinced I'm kidding him) I will.
2 days later he calls me.
Cuz: (with confidence, completely convinced I'm kidding him) I will.
2 days later he calls me.
Cuz: ...and that's not all! It says a talking snake supposedly convinced Eve to eat a magic fruit that let her know the difference between good and bad. But, how did she know it would be wrong before she ate it!? Then God said, "Now everyone has to die!" How's that fair?!
Long story short, my aunt and uncle think I convinced him to be an atheist.
