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I don’t doubt that Tory MPs are saying Johnson is on his “last chance,” but these are the same people who have been anointing him as the chosen one for over a decade. I can’t wait to see who their preferred successor is. Let’s look at the candidates: 1/ https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2020/nov/12/boris-johnson-on-last-chance-say-tory-mps-after-lee-cain-row?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other
1. Sunak. Ex-Goldman Sachs hedge fund manager. Fucking loaded. Private school & Oxford (PPE, of course). Not exactly in touch with the millions of ordinary people his government is fucking up right now. Tory MPs love him because he wants to fuck the poor. Definitely the favourite
2. Raab. Thick as pig shit. Went to public school and Oxbridge where he somehow managed to swindle a law degree. Only useful when a stupid cabinet minister (e.g. Johnson, Davis) says something stupid and they need someone stupid to take over. Doesn’t understand basic geography.
3. Patel. Inspired into politics by Thatcher. Initially Tories weren’t right wing enough so joined Jimmy Goldsmith’s Referendum Party, the precursor to UKIP. Worked in PR lobbying for booze and cigarettes. Thinks drowning asylum seekers is ok. Basically Norman Tebbit in a dress.
4. Gove. Public school and Oxford educated journalist who has admitted to taking cocaine. Happy to stab colleagues in the back in order to further his political career. Would probably have been prime minister by now if he hadn’t betrayed all of his friends. Looks like Pob.
5. Hand Cock. You’ve guessed it: PPE degree from Oxford. Useful morning news cannon fodder due to gross stupidity which manifests itself in an inability to answer basic questions. Could be a caretaker option while they try to bring Thatcher back from the dead.
6. Liz Truss. Oxford. Pork markets.
7. Gavin Williamfun. Token Northerner. Sacked as Defence secretary for, er, leaking information about Chinese involvement in UK mobile phone networks. As education secretary he presided over the 2020 exams clusterfuck and tried to blame everyone else, including teachers.
8. Jenrick. Private school and....Cambridge! Well there’s a surprise. Famous for approving a multi-million pound housing development for a former porn baron and then having to un-approve it because he got found out. Responsible for housing but doesn’t give a shit about Grenfell.
9. Shapps/Michael Green. Too thick to even get into Oxford. Cousin of Mick Jones from The Clash. Famous for various pseudonyms, including “Michael Green,” which he used to run a bogus business whilst serving as an MP. Spends a lot of time editing his Wikipedia entries.
10. Brandon Lewis. In spite of being a QC, this bloke admitted in Parliament that the Internal Markets Bill brought forward by his government broke international law. Also keen on cutting local council budgets during a pandemic.
11. Simon Hart. Only joking 
. Hasn’t got a chance but it won’t stop him standing. The most out of touch Secretary of State for Wales since, er, the last one. Looks like Brian Clough, sounds like a cat’s chuff. Went to Radley College, alma mater of Peter Cook. God rest his soul.
. Hasn’t got a chance but it won’t stop him standing. The most out of touch Secretary of State for Wales since, er, the last one. Looks like Brian Clough, sounds like a cat’s chuff. Went to Radley College, alma mater of Peter Cook. God rest his soul.
And that’s it. What a parade of shite. Good luck england.