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‘We’d like a feasibility study for a tunnel connecting Scotland & N Ireland.’
‘That will be £200M’
‘No, you don’t understand. We’re not asking you to build it.’
‘We know. That’s the cost of a study with all the, er, bits thrown in (like profit).’
‘OK, fuck it. It’s not our ..
‘That will be £200M’
‘No, you don’t understand. We’re not asking you to build it.’
‘We know. That’s the cost of a study with all the, er, bits thrown in (like profit).’
‘OK, fuck it. It’s not our ..
.. money so who gives a shit?’
[Pause for ice-breaking, exaggerated male bonding laughter]
‘Whom do we pay & when?’
‘Will set up a £2 off the shelf company this morning & it will have a bank account in the Cayman Islands this afternoon. We’ll send you the details & you can ..
[Pause for ice-breaking, exaggerated male bonding laughter]
‘Whom do we pay & when?’
‘Will set up a £2 off the shelf company this morning & it will have a bank account in the Cayman Islands this afternoon. We’ll send you the details & you can ..
.. pay then.’
‘Oh, everything up front?’
‘Yes’
[short pause]
‘OK then but we will need reports from time to time.’
‘That will be another £50 million’.
‘Sod it. Alright then. When will you get back to us.’
‘Next week.’
‘What? So quickly?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, OK then. Good morning.’
..
‘Oh, everything up front?’
‘Yes’
[short pause]
‘OK then but we will need reports from time to time.’
‘That will be another £50 million’.
‘Sod it. Alright then. When will you get back to us.’
‘Next week.’
‘What? So quickly?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, OK then. Good morning.’
..
..
[one week later]
‘Here’s our study, as promised. I can read it if you like.’
‘Go ahead’
‘Alright “a tunnel connecting N Ireland & Scotland is not feasible.”
‘Short & sweet, eh?’
‘
’
‘Oh well, it is what it is. The PM is also interested in a world beating space programme ..
[one week later]
‘Here’s our study, as promised. I can read it if you like.’
‘Go ahead’
‘Alright “a tunnel connecting N Ireland & Scotland is not feasible.”
‘Short & sweet, eh?’
‘
’‘Oh well, it is what it is. The PM is also interested in a world beating space programme ..
.. with a launch pad in Hyde Park. Any thoughts?’
‘£500 million. Ready next week.’
‘Good show. Marvellous what can be done with the right spirit!’
‘£500 million. Ready next week.’
‘Good show. Marvellous what can be done with the right spirit!’
