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Someone says his pedophilia joke sucks and he searches their tweets for the word “depression” to use as an insult. Mocks them for their depression. With or without depression I am ten times the man he is and have accomplished far more than he ever will.
What a sad insecure little guy. Also he bought a candle from me once but he didn’t mention that he’s a fan and a patron of my art.
He also must not have recognized me from when I reached out to him and welcomed him when he showed up to Genesis Group alone. I felt bad because he was by himself and nobody spoke to him. He called me friend, but I guess that was before he knew I had depression.
He only went to Genesis Group twice. Once to scope it out by himself. And once when he spoke. He wasn’t interested in the community. It’s not the crowd he was trying to impress. Again, this is before he went off the deep end with all the Qanon craziness.
Talking but not returning reminds me of someone who gets up at an open-mic & performs their set and then leaves without supporting the other performers. Again, wasn’t interested in being part of the black LDS community, he was only took took an opportunity to talk about himself.
When I say that @thekwakuel wasn’t always like this, here’s what I mean. In this video from two years ago, we wasn’t mocking people for having depression. He put on a (what I believe is sincere) performance of empathy for those who suffer from mental illness.
In that video, the fan and patron of my art discussed the sadness of the acquaintances he’s had who committed suicide. He doesn’t say “lol.” He says “If you have depression or anxiety, that doesn’t mean God is punishing you, it just means you have depression or anxiety.”
He goes on to quote Orson F Whitney. A quote which helps de-stigmatize the depression many of us experience in this life. He testifies that the quote is true. But then again, that was 2 years ago.
It is obvious that he no longer feels that the pain & mental illness we experience helps us grow and develop humility. Now he believes it’s a weak point that is easy to attack. A weakness he seeks out and searches for. Mocks and laughs at. So what changed for the guy?
What happened is that he decided which group of dudes and girls at BYU he wanted to accept him and he changed his personality to be what they would like. He bacame the lowest common denominator that they would appreciate. Which is apparently someone who mocks mental illness.
So that’s why I said I still have hope for my fan and patron. He knows better. He also knows how to put on a performance depending who he’s trying to impress. That’s why I pity him. That’s why I said he tries too hard. But that’s not who he is. I want him to fix that insecurity.
I want @thekwakuel to be the person he really is and follow what he really believes. And once he is separated from that toxic crowd, I think he will be. If he can get past his pride. That’s what I originally said. I want him to be better and be real and stop trying so hard.
Here’s exhibit 2. An article he posted on his blog from a couple years ago. Its from a talk he gave at church in which he urges the congregation to love, befriend, and be allies to the LGBT community. It actually has some really good points. This is when he was a good example...
However now he posts a screenshot of my profile so he and his “friends” can mock me for listing my pronouns. I’ve seen him do this before, but remember that he knows better. He knows we should be allies yet he mocks those of us that try. Why? Because of the attention it give him.
My fan and patron warns the listener in his talk that his message may make them uncomfortable. He says “but honesty often is.”
Now he has blocked me because my honesty - and the honesty of who he really is - makes him uncomfortable.
Now he has blocked me because my honesty - and the honesty of who he really is - makes him uncomfortable.
Also I suspect he blocked me because he’s afraid of the crowd he runs in finding out these truths about him. What would they think if they know he doesn’t really believe what he says about mental illness or his feelings of empathy for those who struggle in this life?
Imagine being ashamed & unable to face those qualities in yourself. Not wanting your friends to know that you used to be sensitive & charitable. Would they start treating you the way you treat LGBTs & those with mental illness? This is why I pity him - Like Gandalf pities Gollum.
I want my fan and patron to be better and do better. To turn away from this toxic pandering little guy he’s become over the last couple years. And I would always be willing to sell him more of my art if he does decide to embrace what he knows it right.
