stove pipe hat: topless
gloves: fingerless
stogie: be-toothpicked

alright lads
it's hobo time

goin to the big rock candy mountain, anyone want anything

At the big rock candy mountain
that's where a man can spend his days
catchin' fish what's made of ham
in a lake of mayonaisse

at the big rock candy mountain
where the cows are made of beef
and the ladies made of pies
and tyrannosaurs in F-16s
blacken out the skies

at the big rock candy mountain
where the jail doors never lock
and the trees all have special holes
where a dude can put his cock

at the big rock candy mountain
that's where my path will lead
under a tree what's made of taffy
petting a dog what's made of weed

at the big rock candy mountain
the women are really fat
they let you touch them on the butt
cuz things be cool like that

at the big rock candy mountain
you can live to be a hundred
and the cops can't do shit about it
cuz they've all been defunded

at the big rock candy mountain
did i mention how fat the women are
ok good

at the big rock candy mountain
you never have to wipe your shoes
cuz your stupid bitch wife who's totally holding you back
isn't there to yell at you

at the big rock candy mountain
there ain't no hatred, fear or shame
and you always get infinite lives
when you play your video game

at the big rock candy mountain
there's a forest made of drugs
and the rocks scattered about the ground
are all vibrating anal plugs

at the big rock candy mountain
there's a cave made of crystal meth
and ben shapiro tried to tweet
but then he shit himself to death

at the big rock candy mountain
the homes are made of steak
and you never get ratioed
even for your problematic takes

at the big rock candy mountain
eating counts as exercise
and your mufos always fave all your posts
and your follow count always rises

at the big rock candy mountain
there's a hill what's made of anime
there's a valley what's made of cake
and everyone is gay

at the big rock candy mountain
the discotheque's are lit
the bathrooms are all super clean
and you never have to shit

at the big rock candy mountain
gender's all been banned
there's orchard trees growing HRT
all across the land

at the big rock candy mountain
the lemonade is always chilled
and when your sis says there's tea
you know it is always spilled

jesus christ this is getting pretty stupid lol

at the big rock candy mountain
there's no sickness or disease
and you get all the premium channels
and the tv's all prestige

at the big rock candy mountain
worries are out the door
and you always find the content
that you came here for