And a lot of ppl have reunited w/ their bio families & have learned their parents aren’t just good, decent ppl, but also excellent parents 2 the children they got 2 keep. That’s a harsh blow when u’ve had adoption’s “better life” fairy tale crammed down ur throat all ur life. 1/

Especially when ur adoptive family was garbage. I’m gonna share a few quick facts about adoption—truths that aren’t examined often enuff.
1. Most relinquishing mothers relinquish not b/c they’re unfit, but b/c they’re single, poor, &/or young. 2/

These conditions are almost always temporary, but our society (& the adoption industry) pressures them 2 choose a permanent solution 4 these temporary “problems.” Not b/c it’s best for baby-to-be, but b/c millions of adults covet babies & b/c they’re worth big $$$ ... 3/

to the $13 billion per yr adoption industry.
2. Adoption promises a “better life,” but can only actually deliver a different life. 4/

3. Wanting children doesn’t automatically make someone a good parent—or even a decent person.
4. Not all adoptees end up in loving homes. Too many of us grow up w/ parental neglect, abuse, torture. Some of us are molested. Some of us are murdered. 5/

5. Not all motivations 2 adopt are positive. Or even healthy. Ppl buy clothes, shoes, bags, cars, homes 2 be seen as something they’re not—many ppl buy children 4 the same reason. They crave the kudos our society provides adopters. They want 2 be perceived as selfless heroes. 6/

My adopters adopted b/c my mother tried for 10 yrs to have kids of her own & feared she was seen as a failure b/c she couldn’t. She didn’t really want to be a mother—she just wanted to be seen as successful. Period. 7/

6. Ppl who are not adopted do not know what it’s like to be adopted. I don’t care how many adoptees they know. I have 4 brothers, but I still don’t know what it’s like to be male. Using adoptees you THINK you know as tools to shame & silence other adoptees is gross. 8/

It’s shitty & disingenuous behavior. STOP IT. If you don’t like what an adoptee has to say about adoption, STFU & listen. You might learn something. If you don’t want to learn anything, then STFU & keep moving. Do not argue w/ ppl about their own lived experience. 9/

7. Every #adoption begins w/ loss. Every single 1. No baby/child bcomes available 4 adoption w/o being legally severed frm its mother, family, identity, ancestry. That’s a profound loss, & no matter what comes after, THERE’S NOTHING BEAUTIFUL ABOUT THAT LOSS. 10/10 #adopteevoices