Autistic people grow up being told that they have to lie. I often found people explaining NT social skills to me as lying. I would often say people "lied" when they said something that wasn't true and told this was wrong to say.

But neurotypical people lie a lot everyday. 1/9

Example: "How are you?" "I'm good! How are you?"

Example: "Does this dress make me look bad" "No you look great"

Example: "Did you like my art piece?" "It's very nice!"

Am I saying lying is bad? No, but I'm saying it IS part of NT culture. 2/9

I think most non-autistic people don't realize that lying is really hard for us. We do it when we have to (ex. fawning at school, work, or doctor's appointments), but in a calm state, every time I think of lying, it feels like a moral dilemma. No matter what that lie is. 3/9

And the unfortunate part is that we are vehemently punished for not lying, even if not lying is the right thing to do. Many of us will tell (if asked) if someone broke the rules. We don't lie about what we see or what we experience, unless we're in danger. 4/9

This is why people like Matthew Rushin end up in prison. Because we trust that other people will do the right thing. Because we can't lie even to protect ourselves. Because we don't know when someone is going to use our truth against us. 5/9

This is a really big way society disadvantages autistic people, and anyone who is honest for that matter. No one really cares about the truth, instead they care how you package it and send it to them. Most people don't want to know the truth. 6/9

And that's not to say that everyone should tell the truth all the time, no matter how many feelings it hurts. I'm not saying that is right either. I'm just saying that I think people misconstrue -why- autistic people are often truthful. It's because we value it.. 7/9

And we beat ourselves up when we aren't truthful. We care about the truth so much that even a white lie can make us feel very guilty, that we didn't tell them. What if they needed to hear a truly honest opinion? What if it was the wrong thing to do? How will this affect them? 8/9

Think about this the next time someone is blunt with you or says something you don't like, not for any other reason than that it was their honest opinion. Think before you say "yes really be honest with me" because we take that literally. & don't ask us to lie for you. 9/9