Let’s talk about difficult conversations.

Difficult conversations are those that we tend to avoid because they suck. They usually include disappointing someone we don't want to.

A thread on difficult conversations, #COVID19, and leadership.
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Difficult conversations abound in COVID time. Examples include:

“I know you want to go to that soccer tournament, but 400 teenagers and their parents in an indoor facility seems unwise.”

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“Thanks for inviting me to dinner at Billy Bob’s low-ceilinged, poorly ventilated tavern. I am going to pass because of the pandemic.”

“Thanks for inviting me to your wedding. I am going RSVP no given the global pandemic.”

“Mom, we have to talk about Thanksgiving.”

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These are conversations that no one wants to have. And nowadays, not having difficult conversations often means simply doing things we shouldn’t in the time of a plague. Hugging. Not wearing a mask. Attending a large gathering of humans indoors.

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And we feel pressure to do these things because they are what makes us human- interacting with others. The emotional toll and damage done by deciding not to attend a loved one’s wedding is awful; many choose to go rather than endure the social awkwardness of saying “no”.

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This happens with mask wearing, too. Unless you have the awkward and explicit conversation about the fact that you are going to wear a mask when near friends, doing so becomes just awkward. It just feels easier not to wear the mask given the social pressure.

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There are literally millions of these difficult conversation moments every day with this pandemic. But these millions of moments are easily replaced by a single, larger difficult conversation that leaders can have in setting temporary restrictions on gatherings.

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Those in charge can unburden us of difficult conversations by not allowing large gatherings of humans in places where behavior leads to spread (bars and restaurants). One difficult conversation replaces a million.

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That’s leadership. Those chosen to lead through difficult times do so by making hard decisions for all of us. It's the reason we wear seatbelts and I don’t have to spend an hour convincing my teenager to put it on. Because it is the law. That is not a difficult conversation.

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Without strong leadership this winter is only going to get harder. I plead with those in charge to have the difficult conversation for us so that we can make it the next 6-8 months to the point where a vaccine saves us from this hellscape.

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