#myblackmathjourney I was never sure about what I wanted to do and there were many times I didn’t even feel worthy enough to learn math. That changed over time which led to some great turning points in my life. /A thread

My journey was non-traditional. I excelled in math during my elem. and JHS years. Took the regents early in HS, but things started to change for me during my later years. I didn’t know what to do or even where to go for college. So my interest started to fade.

I found myself trying to figure out my own life while figuring out what to do with my life. Math was not something I thought I could do beyond HS. I never saw an example of that. I worked for a few years before deciding to return to school.

I went to Kingsborough Community College first, which helped me in deciding my major in math, but also exposing me to other experiences. I learned to network. I started to notice that there weren’t many people who looked like me in my upper division classes.

I’ve had other students point it out. Hey your the only girl in here or they would assume I didn’t know as much as they did. There were always wrong about that. I would be the only black person in certain classes. I’ve had senior faculty try and talk me out of being a math major.

The best part aside from internships I found myself in, was the math center were I could study all day and find help from the tutors there. Also the small friendships I made that aided in my study habits. They showed me around and put me on game.

From there I moved on to Medgar Evers College. It was a big yet familiar change for me. One thing that excited me was being around black people in mathematics. They were all so brilliant and we made a strong group that made sure none of us would ever fail a class.

Still I had my own battles through these victories. My own limiting beliefs. There was a time I thought Calc I, was too out of reach before I even tried. I get that way for every class especially if everyone said it was difficult. Especially optimization lol.

I started seeing how my thoughts influenced my reality. How strong those thoughts were embedded and somewhat hindered my own progress. I had to snap out of it while also being kind to myself. This is where a strong group comes in.

You’re never going to know everything. There’s no such thing as being perfect and being “wrong” can be the best thing because those are moments of true growth and learning. I had to remind myself of that all the time, even up until now.

Math can be frustrating especially when you have never seen much representation, and if people around you try and make you feel as if you don’t belong. Math is also hard sometimes because it is, but it’s worth it because I love it.

I love what I can do with it and how we can change the world with mathematics. After Medgar I worked as a 5th grade math teacher for a year. It was an amazing and eye opening experience. It made me think of my own learning experience which also stroked up my interest in Math Ed.

I didn’t want to teach anymore and I wanted to go back to school. I didn’t feel ready for grad school. So I wondered if there was a post-bacc for math. I ran to the bathroom during my break and googled post-bacc opportunities. That’s where I found Smith College.

Smith College was an amazing experience. I made some great friends and outside of math I explored new activities. I played golf, I rock-climbed, etc. Rock climbing is not for me though. Both feet planted firmly on the ground please.

The program chose 9 people including myself. We took at least 3 or more math courses, a math dialogue course, and picked a research project which we presented at JMM. I chose Splines under the direction of Julianna Tymoczko.

They also helped us and prepared us to apply to grad school. I ultimately chose Michigan State. I was worried all. the. time! I thought I was not prepared and I’m just not good enough. Like how could I possibly get a PhD in math?

I also hustled around! I made sure to go to conferences during my undergrad. Math or just STEM focused. You meet great ppl and build a network for yourself. I learned about fellowships and applied to them all! Even if you feel you won’t understand just watch and ask questions.

Many conversations, many conferences, building relationships, and attending EDGE during the summer aided me greatly. The thoughts may pop up but I know it’s not true. I’m more than capable and anyone who is interested in math can do it!

You have everything you need in you. It’ll suck sometimes because your frustrated. You’ll sometimes compare yourself unfairly to your peers. Just remember to center yourself and your greatest competition is you. The point is for you to develop and find your passion.

Math is in everything we do, and it’s an extremely creative and beautiful subject. Your ability to learn new things grows exponentially in my opinion. Just go for it! Allow yourself to feel and remember you got this. (The advice I tell myself when trying to do Measure Theory)

TLDR; I went through countless experiences and limited myself by my own thoughts. There is no right way to math. If you like it, go for it. That’s what I did. You’ll grow and I’m thankful to Medgar Evers, Smith College and KBCC for the years of lessons. Grow a support system too.