Headcanon Wednesday!

What are Discworld characters doing during Lockdown 2?

Granny, Nanny and Magrat are immune through sheer force of will, but staying in to set an example. Magrat has attempted to train owls to deliver her various herbal remedies. It has not worked.

Nanny is safe with ample supplies of scumble and daughter-in-law prepared meals. The neighbours don’t dare complain about the singing.

Granny has decided to avoid Borrowing local owls for the foreseeable, due to their newfound dependency on herbal remedies. She’s using the local badger population to keep an eye on what’s what.

King Verence has doubled down on kingdom quarantine. Outsiders must spend 7 days in a castle tower before proceeding to the village.

Sometimes they get inexplicable packages of herbs delivered by confused owls.

Horace is organising regular mutton deliveries for the Feegles. They’ve agreed to stay in their mound provided no one insists on a Bath.

Tiffany isn’t sure she *loves* the idea of Horace and the Feegles cooperating, but she’s too busy with a queue of sick people (some of whom are definitely not from this village...) to object.

Rincewind is spending Lockdown II hurtling between dimensions. The wizards used him as a guinea pig for a spell of Vitality and Constitution (Combination Incantation/Nourishing Elixir). On the bright side, he probably IS safe from the virus.

The Librarian has barred everyone from the library and is taking a quiet holiday in the travel section

Ridcully is using the time to perfect his wow-wow sauce recipe. The resulting smoke can be seen from Sto Lat.

Mrs Cake saw this coming. Obviously. She is fortune telling via post - sometimes accidentally sending a reading before the customer asked for one.

The postal service will brook no further questions over their work for Mrs Cake.

The assassins guild began a murder-by-Mail service, but were swiftly stopped by irritated golems.

The Clacks business is booming. Adorabelle never thought so much of her income would come from bored people sharing sourdough recipes long-distance.

The High Priests have set up a remote faith system. Pay them a small fee and they will placate the god of your choice by blaming the plague on another god.

Sybil Vimes has organised a city-wide system of meal delivery to the vulnerable. She, and Interchangeable Emmas, cook – Vimes‘s men deliver on the beat.

Thankfully, everyone who decided to get very into baking dwarf bread during the first lockdown has not gotten back into it. Many of the loaves from the first lockdown have since been confiscated by the Watch.

(Carrot intends to donate them to the Dwarf Bread Museum when they are no longer technically evidence)

Vetinari has threatened to set Drumknott on anyone who comes to the palace complaining. Drumknott has many, many graphs to show you.