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I've seen several chronically ill people today talk about feeling bad for resting instead of being "productive", and hi it me also
Thought I'd share some things that have helped me deal with this #NEISVoid
First, this article: https://medium.com/the-establishment/the-ableist-racist-classist-underpinnings-of-laziness-5426361736ee
Thought I'd share some things that have helped me deal with this #NEISVoid
First, this article: https://medium.com/the-establishment/the-ableist-racist-classist-underpinnings-of-laziness-5426361736ee
But also reading essays takes energy and is extra hard with brain fog, so here is what I tell myself:
Resting is work.
Hard, unappreciated work.
Resting is work.
Hard, unappreciated work.
[ableism]
I know many of us have met that arse who's all, "I'd love to stay home all day"
But I think we can see from abled peoples' response to lockdown that this is not actually true
I know many of us have met that arse who's all, "I'd love to stay home all day"
But I think we can see from abled peoples' response to lockdown that this is not actually true
I come from a long line of people who like to stay busy, and before my chronic illness stuff got really bad, I would stress clean or stress bake or whatever as a coping mechanism for anxiety
But I can't actually do that anymore without being made of regrets later on
But I can't actually do that anymore without being made of regrets later on
For awhile, I would trick myself into resting with things that still felt productive: knitting, signing petitions, writing letters to friends, cleaning my inbox
But those things still take energy, so do what works for your body-mind
But those things still take energy, so do what works for your body-mind
If you're bedbound or just extremely low on energy today, I highly recommend (at some point) checking out this series called the severe bedbound ME activity master list https://medium.com/@theduckopera/the-severe-me-bedbound-activity-masterlist-part-2-4173ca741667
Over time, I'm getting better at giving myself credit for accomplishing "small" tasks that take a surprising amount of energy, that maybe abled people don't recognize as "work"
For example: researching fragrance free lotion is an ongoing project and also tiring
For example: researching fragrance free lotion is an ongoing project and also tiring
Remembering to put my ice pack in the freezer so it's cold the next time I need it? A+
I had a mostly terrible therapist for awhile, who did say one thing that's stuck with me:
Some days, you can do everything on your to-do list
Some days, all you can do is try to stay alive
You have done important work on both kinds of days
Some days, you can do everything on your to-do list
Some days, all you can do is try to stay alive
You have done important work on both kinds of days
The second kind of day is at least as much work as the first
However, society at large and even people who care about you often only give you praise or rewards for the first kind of day
However, society at large and even people who care about you often only give you praise or rewards for the first kind of day
Over time, I've thought about things like perfect attendance records or "miss three classes and you automatically fail" policies. I've thought about how ableist they are
But also, they condition people to sacrifice their body-minds for school and for bosses and for corporations
But also, they condition people to sacrifice their body-minds for school and for bosses and for corporations
I just want to pause here and say that I didn't just independently come to this analysis. I learned a lot from Black disabled writers like Audre Lorde
Highly recommend checking out the Black Disabled Woman syllabus from @VilissaThompson http://www.rampyourvoice.com/black-disabled-woman-syllabus-compilation/
Highly recommend checking out the Black Disabled Woman syllabus from @VilissaThompson http://www.rampyourvoice.com/black-disabled-woman-syllabus-compilation/
Anyway, a thing that has helped me when my brain becomes a broken record of "you should be more productive"
Is naming these thoughts as ableist, naming them as tools meant to force people to sacrifice themselves on the altar of capitalism
Is naming these thoughts as ableist, naming them as tools meant to force people to sacrifice themselves on the altar of capitalism
I just sort of yell at my inner "but productivity!!" voice to stop being such a capitalist until that tape of negative self talk stops being so loud and wrong
I also really like reading certain poems to deal with the nagging sense that I'm a "burden" if I'm not more "productive". Sometimes I repeat certain phrases from these poems in my head, too.
http://www.thenthdegree.com/proudpoem.asp
http://www.thenthdegree.com/proudpoem.asp
If you have not yet read Wild Geese by Mary Oliver, you are in for a treat
http://www.phys.unm.edu/~tw/fas/yits/archive/oliver_wildgeese.html
http://www.phys.unm.edu/~tw/fas/yits/archive/oliver_wildgeese.html
I also find it helpful to listen to other disabled people talk about their experiences.
If you like podcasts, I recommend @DisVisibility and @bennessb's No End in Sight podcast.
If you like podcasts, I recommend @DisVisibility and @bennessb's No End in Sight podcast.
If you're more of a short essay/anthology sort of person, then I recommend Care Work by @thellpsx
Also I really love the Disability Visibility anthology edited by @SFdirewolf (although full disclosure, I have an essay published in this anthology)
Also I really love the Disability Visibility anthology edited by @SFdirewolf (although full disclosure, I have an essay published in this anthology)
There are also so many awesome blogs, YouTube channels, podcasts, Patreons etc about disability issues, and I can't possibly list them all (plus the brain fog is starting to set in)
I do want to take a moment to encourage you to check out @SingsongRaptor's Patreon in particular if you get the chance https://twitter.com/SingsongRaptor/status/1316151364528070656?s=19
How could I forget to include @TheNapMinistry in this thread? (I mean, brain fog, that's how.) https://twitter.com/TheNapMinistry/status/1324059607971614729?s=19
