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I don’t know if this is worthwhile to share but it’s just what’s been ruminating in my mind since yesterday. Sorry in advance for what I’m about to word vomit, I only have two modes: introspection and getting all the words out at once. Since tone is hard to convey, know that this
is all said with love and the intention of providing clarity.
What’s wrong with saying “let’s all just ship who we want to ship” and ONLY saying that:
When a marginalized part of a community says they are hurting, what they want is acceptance and to be heard.
What’s wrong with saying “let’s all just ship who we want to ship” and ONLY saying that:
When a marginalized part of a community says they are hurting, what they want is acceptance and to be heard.
And the mentality of “there’s room for everyone” only goes so far if homophobia is not being called out. Because the heart of this issue is not that people have different ships in this fandom.
It’s specifically that the queer ships are constantly subjected to hate and disgust in this fandom, JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE QUEER. So if you’re straight and seeing queer friends in this fandom speak up about that and how it is hurting them, and if you want to add to the dialogue,
please call out the homophobia and offer support specifically to the hurting. You don’t even have to ship the queer ships to still be supportive of those who do. I feel like that’s something this fandom as a whole doesn’t really get.
Saying “let’s all just ship what we want to ship” is very very different than saying “I see that this community is being hurt by both blatant and subtle homophobia and I won’t stand for it”
I feel like that piece right there is the crux of what I’m trying to get at,
I feel like that piece right there is the crux of what I’m trying to get at,
and I hope this makes sense. It’s not inclusive if the hurt in one group is being ignored for the comfort of the whole. And even if that’s not the intention, that’s how blanket statements sound when they are spoken into a conversation about specific hurt and toxicity in a fandom.
Some of you know that I’m bi. I knew that for a while and it still took an embarrassingly long time until I felt comfortable to share that with some people this year. Because of this, I kinda feel like I’m on the edges of the queer community most of the time and hesitate to post
things like this, because I don’t know that what I have to say is “the right thing to say” and I worry about maybe somehow misrepresenting the queer community. If I have, please let me know. I also feel like I’m on the edges of this fandom sometimes just because I’m queer.
There are so many times I don’t engage in shipping anything other than JC because of the micro aggressions and even overt homophobia that I see here on twitter. So for me, we’re really not all free to ship who we want to ship, unless we want to open ourselves up to the ridicule.
I say every word of this post with so much love and support for my queer friends here. I hate seeing you hurt and belittled. Please know that you make this fandom a better place and you’re so fucking valid and you are so NEEDED here.
For my straight friends here who aren’t understanding what’s happening, I hope this maybe clarified it a bit. It’s not an attack, please don’t take it as one. But language and word choice matter, and sometimes what feels like a welcoming stance is actually not.
I hope I made sense. Read Keeley’s thread for actual actionable steps on how to be an ally in this space. There are some truly wonderful people in this fandom and I know we have the potential to build a stronger, more understanding community here.
