There are people, including me, who have had family members die during the pandemic, and - understandably, and beyond regrettably - it was not safe for us, them, or other members of my family, for us to visit before their time came.
However understandable, it is still unbelievably frustrating. To feel helpless, as you do. That's natural in death. But, to not even be able to see the flame extinguished. To feel tied down because there are people who refuse to see beyond themselves in this pandemic.
We have people in power hemming and hawing about limiting damage to the economy while other countries, having safely and more comprehensively locked-down earlier, HAVING ACTUALLY LISTENED TO SCIENCE, are already recovering economically.
Anyway. I am just really frustrated and tired. I can't even do the things I love. I can't see the people I love. And some people just don't give a shit that THAT could be someone's reality. All because they don't want to let empathy be an inconvenience.
I loved my Pappy. And I am sad he's gone. But I am more sad for my mom. She didn't even get to see her dad go.