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This is a thread of all of the tactics I have used over the past four years to keep a(n albeit tense but) respectful relationship with my Trump-supporting family.
Obviously, this is not one-size-fits-all but most of us need a starting place to deprogram our loved ones.
Obviously, this is not one-size-fits-all but most of us need a starting place to deprogram our loved ones.
(Please add to this thread if you’ve had success in connecting with or helping your Trump-Deranged loved ones with their journey back to the Light.)
(1) patience & kindness - I promise, this is the most important. It’s SO easy to want to dunk on Trump voters while Eric Trump is encouraging MN to vote a week after the fact. Like, really easy.
But you’re not going to get anywhere with humor (I have tried).
But you’re not going to get anywhere with humor (I have tried).
(2) ask open-ended questions but don’t turn it into an inquisition.
One of the most effective ways I have kept some of my family from the Dark Side is asking them how Trump’s policies specifically have impacted them as an individual.
One of the most effective ways I have kept some of my family from the Dark Side is asking them how Trump’s policies specifically have impacted them as an individual.
But this is where you can lose people so be mindful of your tone.
When I’ve used this line, I’ve had success in making Trumpsters *think* and that’s the key.
Gently make them consider how they are impacted individually & directly by Trump policies.
Chances are, they aren’t.
When I’ve used this line, I’ve had success in making Trumpsters *think* and that’s the key.
Gently make them consider how they are impacted individually & directly by Trump policies.
Chances are, they aren’t.
That said, don’t let them off the hook when they start spewing garbage about their retirement going up 2 points or keeping immigrants out. Neither of those things has a direct impact on their lives ~right now~ and that’s the point to make.
(3) approach the deprogramming session with a shared interest in a specific topic:
Use common ground to create/redevelop rapport with your loved one who happens to be a Trump supporter.
Dems are really going to need this tactic to move past Election Day.
Use common ground to create/redevelop rapport with your loved one who happens to be a Trump supporter.
Dems are really going to need this tactic to move past Election Day.
Eg, we all believe in religious freedom. Dems just don’t believe in one person’s religious choice being forced upon another (the true definition of religious freedom, amirite?)
Connect that dot for them.
Connect that dot for them.
Chances are, they believe that they are under attack for their Christian faith. I remember this from the early 2000s & challenging everyone by asking how they were under attack. “Be specific,” or “give me an example of how you are under attack.” Press them to explain.
And the point of this is to make them think critically. For the last 4+ years, they have been spoon-fed talking points by Fox News & Trump and have not had to think for themselves.
Their worldview crumbles when you ask for details or specifics bc Fox never made it that far.
Their worldview crumbles when you ask for details or specifics bc Fox never made it that far.
(4) similarly, challenge their ideas, and do so in a way that doesn’t come across as aggressive but compassionate:
“Tell me more about this...” or “what draws you to this idea?”
Genuine curiosity can go a long way to disarm folks & encourage them to engage.
“Tell me more about this...” or “what draws you to this idea?”
Genuine curiosity can go a long way to disarm folks & encourage them to engage.
(5) be prepared to be shut down.
A family member recently brought up the “thin blue line” discussion with me then immediately stopped talking when I started asking questions about their newfound beliefs.
Oh well. That happens, so keep it moving & don’t be deterred.
A family member recently brought up the “thin blue line” discussion with me then immediately stopped talking when I started asking questions about their newfound beliefs.
Oh well. That happens, so keep it moving & don’t be deterred.
(6) match your patience with persistence and don’t give up on your Trump-supporting family.
Even Kylo Ren turned away from the Dark Side & multi-generational brainwashing. Our family & friends can do so, too, & it WILL be tough. But worth it
Even Kylo Ren turned away from the Dark Side & multi-generational brainwashing. Our family & friends can do so, too, & it WILL be tough. But worth it
