My only contribution to the rising Buffy-verse talk is that Buffy & Spike were *mutually* abusive to one another—at one point, she beat the crap out of him! Her whole thing was that she was drawn to vampires & had trouble imagining love without pain. That's just who the lady was.

In a way, it's kind of what the show was about— Buffy was soaking in patriarchal violence like Palmolive, it was the skeleton key (literally) to her romances, it's why she found Riley dull. She was kinky & she vibed w/ vamps because they're dead. Not everything has to be healthy.

I personally found her romance with Spike to be the more interesting one, largely because James Marsters is the cat's meow. Like Darla, I always rolled my eyes at Buffy and Angel. And don't sleep on Holden from Conversations With Dead People, the Berger of BTVS.