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I feel like when you're looking up to someone who is further along in transition, it's hard to see how they got there without it all falling apart. So... story time:
When I first came out as trans to my wife, it was 3.5yrs ago. 1/n
When I first came out as trans to my wife, it was 3.5yrs ago. 1/n
I told her that I had known since I was 8yrs old, and that it had been weighing on me HEAVILY recently. But, I also was so scared of losing her and the kids, that I shamefully told her that I didn't actually want to transition... that I just needed to tell her. 2/n
There was still a lot of hurt. She felt betrayed, like I had held back an important detail about myself for all of these years. And she was right. She also expressed that she wasn't attracted to women, so that if I did transition, it could never work for us. 3/n
As the weeks/months went on, I experimented with my appearance. Grew my hair out. Wore hair clips occasionally. Grew my nails out sometimes. Shaved all of my body hair. Started laser. 4/n
Each of those things came with pushback and fear from my wife. What was acceptable to her, and what wasn't, was always an anxiety that was with me. However, I knew that I DID need to transition. So, a year after coming out to her, I told her that I wanted to start HRT. 5/n
By then, even though I had SO much pent up nerves about how SHE felt... she knew that it was the right path. But we had this whole life built together, and even though she was categorically not attracted to women, she was attracted to me. She loved me. 6/n
I'm her "exception" to her het life.
To the #transgender people out there that are tip-toeing that line with their spouse, out-but-not, and are afraid that their life is going to explode, just know that there is hope and understanding SOMEWHERE.
To the #transgender people out there that are tip-toeing that line with their spouse, out-but-not, and are afraid that their life is going to explode, just know that there is hope and understanding SOMEWHERE.
