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the riverdale thread starts now. god help me https://twitter.com/neon__glow/status/1325955154227523584
how many times will our narrator say the word ‘town’ in the intro i’m betting at least 6
fuck me i knew this would be campy but they really didn’t ease into it at all did they..it just starts like this
archie,,,,,,you have been onscreen for less than 60 seconds and i hate you already
PEOPLE DONT TALK LIKE THIS !! THIS SOUNDS LIKE A MIDDLE AGED MAN GUESSING HOW TEENS TALK
luke perry :(( rest in peace you sweet man
every character so far is an overly exaggerated teen drama stereotype,,i should’ve expected as much
ok so fun fact this show is filmed here in vancouver and one of my oldest friends who was an extra for a while is i think visible in this next scene
there she is ! i don’t think you have twitter but claire if you see this somehow we should hang out again it’s been way too long
i bet this was filmed in templeton or van tech, fuckin preppy ass schools
why is everyone gushing over archie’s song it sounds like nickelback
oh you piece of shit you do not get to make mad men references
ooh baby you wanna queerbait me so bad you know you do
1 down, 75 to go. lordy lordy this is gonna be quite the undertaking
yep, that’s BC alright. looks like it’s probably up near squamish or whistler
imagining these scenes written with hannibal dialogue. going to cave my skull in with an ice pick
"no straight man has that body" these writers aren't even trying
ok i have to stop for tonight my brain is rotting
ARCHIE’S SONGS SOUND LIKE EVERY BASIC WHITE GUY WITH AN ACOUSTIC GUITAR THEY ARENT THAT GOOD,,SIMPLY SHUT YOUR MOUTH WHITE BOY
i feel like this
WAIT FUCK THATS COLE SPROUSE
why is this guy named moose..that’s not a flattering nickname
this bitch wants to re-binge making a murderer when there are so much more interesting true crime docs available,,no taste
now maybe it’s just because i’ve gotten so used to being attracted to skinny emo twinks but none of these jocks seem that attractive, certainly not as much as the gay dude is making them out to be
fuck yeah veronica talk your shit
seems to me like they’re putting in topical issues (racism, sexual assault) because that’s the right thing to do, but there’s no subtlety at all and the writers are just shoving it down the audience’s throat as if they would be too dense to pick up on anything more nuanced
jughead compared his novel to ‘in cold blood’ when so far his writing sounds like john green
to be fair i have nothing against john green as a person and i still watch every new vlogbrothers video, but man his books are not that good
jughead.....tarantino is not ‘indie cinema’
ONCE AGAIN, PEOPLE DO NOT TALK LIKE THIS
there’s no way there isn’t going to be homoerotic tension at some point and that’s really what’s keeping me watching
jughead really isn’t the most flattering nickname, but i just learned that at least in the comics his real name is forsythe pendleton jones III, which sounds like a 19th century plantation owner
it really seems like the writers are throwing in as many pop culture references as they can think of to be relatable to young people, but it feels so forced that all the conversations just become exaggerated
it’s finally here, my first pepe silvia moment of the show
was a dour piano version of a tears for fears song really the best choice for jason's funeral
...it really isn't that hard to be in 2 bands i feel like this is just creating unnecessary drama
jeeeeeesus archie just when i thought your lyrics couldn't get anymore basic
archie you poor, stupid boy. you're really getting my panties in a twist here
ugh
alright after almost 7 episodes i finally have something good to say. that was a sweet moment and i enjoyed it very much
NO YOU DO NOT GET TO SAY ‘GLAMAZON DOT COM’ WHOEVER WROTE THAT CANT BE TRUSTED
ONCE AGAIN, FOR THE THIRD GODDAMN TIME, PEOPLE DO NOT TALK LIKE THIS
i don’t trust anyone who wears hats like this one
most people who wear porkpie hats at least in fiction are either rich or british. neither of which are acceptable
look i get that they’re going for a whole snake theme here but the purposeful misspelling really makes it seem less threatening
archie’s basing a lot of these direct accusations just on speculation alone. amateur move
cheryl always sounds like a cult member when she talks i worry about how her family brainwashed her
PROTIP when ur playing DO NOT SIT LIKE THIS it’s bad for ur wrists !! have the guitar on ur lap instead of raising it upward like this
it’s probably just me but all these slow depressing versions of 80s pop songs really rub me the wrong way
archie and archibald have very different vibes
okay this shot has to have been taken somewhere else we don’t get this much snow in the lower mainland
archie you ignorant slut
veronica uses a lot of portmanteaus that really aren’t anything
aaaaaand there’s the scene
i’m having 2nd hand social anxiety no sir don’t like this one bit
i have a lot more respect for veronica now that she’s gone to school wearing a cloak
‘nightmare smurfette’ is not a good insult cheryl really needs to up her game
oh no....i’m actually starting to theorize about the murder, my crime analysis brain and my campy bullshit brain are both on and i pray that they don’t cancel each other out
clifford blossom has logan roy energy
jughead wearing a suit but not taking his hat off really just feels wrong
okay so the blossoms are basically just the habsburgs got it
kevin saying “you are a criminal” to joaquin as if he’s surprised,,,buddy your bf is literally in the town’s biker gang known for committing crimes you probably could’ve pieced this one together earlier
wasn’t expecting a black mirror reference but here we are
good twist. i’ll give you this one writers
season finale time please don't let me down gang
wow that is probably the worst pun ive ever heard we're really starting from the bottom with this one
feel bad for cheryl. still don't like her but i do feel bad
jughead dresses like someone i would see in mount pleasant getting stoned at 1 in the morning. could've brought that up earlier but now that he wears plaid shirts tied around his waist it just makes sense
damn
archie might as well just play wonderwall at this point
oh of COURSE they're ending the episode with a fucking imagine dragons song i should've expected something so milquetoast
season 1 final thoughts
okay that felt..very on the nose, like even more so than usual
this is a very pointless thing that didn’t need to be said but i did anyway so it’s going in
season 1 eased into the tense atmosphere the show tries to create a little slowly but season 2 is going full throttle right from the start, i'm a little concerned it might burn that feeling out too quickly but i digress
damn our boy pivoted real hard real fast
ok so the guy who played reggie in s1 left due to commitments with another show, and instead of having another football player take over his very minor role in the plot, they just replaced him and have a different actor playing the same character
what
what
is it just me or does the guy who plays hiram lodge look an awful lot like rami malek
it really makes sense that ‘jingle jangle’ is what they chose for a drug’s street name
95% of the people in this show can't act but they all can't act in different ways so it just becomes this giant mishmash of nothing
getting massive hannibal lecter energy from this dude
jughead talks so cryptically it just becomes a joke
it’s zodiac all over again
not 5 minutes into this episode and we've had references to both 'the matchelorette' and 'grindem' they really couldn't come up with any original copyright free brand names huh
so this is canonically his name, that's really unfortunate https://twitter.com/neon__glow/status/1326758260112830464?s=20
the amount of movie references in situations that have nothing to do with anything in said movies is getting pretty ridiculous
god it's like my high school all over again
'the red circle' sounds a lot more like the name for a cult than a neighbourhood watch
THIS DUDE IS THE GODDAMN ZODIAC KILLER THE SIMILARITIES ARE ALL THERE this can't be a coincidence
pretty sure i’ve hiked these woods before
ok now they’re just taunting me
oh my god is this gonna be a whole true crime arc this is perfect my old hyperfixations serve me yet again
ok archie i got where you were coming from before but now ur sounding crazy
ah yes classism at its finest
oh of course the rich kid looks like timothee chalamet
95% of the soundtrack is either imagine dragons or might as well be
OH YEAH BABY THATS THE KIND OF QUEERBAITING I LIKE TO SEE
ah yes, abusing political power out of personal spite. good going mayor
im going to snap <3333 not yet but the fire in me is definitely starting
oh of COURSE veronica reads donna tartt it all makes sense
oh sure, 'toxic relationship' is one way to put it
does kevin have any standards whatsoever,,,,,i don't think there's been any situation where he didn't say the guys there were hot
having theories. u dont get to hear them but they're happening
this one is turning into a hannibal situation very fast and let me tell you i'm here for it
jesus christ of nazareth this is an inhuman amount of passive aggression
cute date ideas: rummage around in the town murder house
i really didn't need or want to have donnie darko flashbacks right now but leave it to this show to bring up every repressed former hyperfixation i had
it was only a matter of time before someone got fucked over by the american healthcare system
comrade veronica we love to see it
fun christmas episode guys good going
veronica this isn't toxic masculinity it's classism,,,you can't just invoke any social injustice and expect it to make sense
when will cheryl realize her mother is a sociopath
this week: jughead learns about indigenous genocide
betty the ‘darkness inside you’ is this fun thing called mental illness we all have it
this is the vibe i get from almost every character, like there’s so much gay energy but other than the actual gay character nobody’s really pulled the trigger yet, but it feels like it could happen at any point
first the gang finds out about colonization and now jughead figures out that politicians don’t actually have his interests in mind because he’s poor and in a gang, boy howdy we’re really getting all the topical issues in this arc
jesus christ is archie really this dense
jarchie, a himbo and a twink, the classic pairing
oh betty, poor naive betty, did you really just put your fingerprints on this dead body,,i thought you would know by now not to do that
OKAY WHAT THE FUCK
archie you dumb sack of rocks you did the one thing you weren’t supposed to
jughead...what the absolute fuck are you talking about
me rn, trying to process all this bullshit
the main characters in this show, particularly jughead and veronica, often make pop culture references that in my experience most teens probably wouldn't make, but then again i spend most of my time with other mentally ill people who have like 5 shared special interests
these people have clearly never read marx
oh boy! more queerbait! just what we needed
folks, i had an epiphany last night
you can hear my fingers crack at a couple points in this and for that i apologize but i’m not recording it again. i don’t even think i could recreate this energy if i tried
clearly archie doesn’t know about the injustices of the prison industrial complex and it shows
LET'S GO LESBIANS
on one hand hiram lodge is a dilf but on the other he will be getting the guillotine when the revolution comes. there are 2 wolves inside me
aw yeah, just guys bein dudes
